Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy

This is a journal entry from Friday, March 2, 2012

I did not go to into this morning's orgasmic yoga practice with very much energy. I came last night after fisting myself. But I went ahead and began without knowing what to expect.

After affirming my mission and purpose, I began massaging myself with coconut oil. I rubbed my chest, belly and thighs and let my erotic energy slowly build. I focused on my breathing. I rubbed some oil on my hardening cock, but didn't stimulate it immediately. As I began to include it, I avoided ejaculation producing strokes and focused on pleasure sensations. It was like playing in a meadow of pleasure instead of following a path of pleasurable release. The only difference is the direction of movement.

I found myself feeling much more energetic as I left one hand on my cock - tweaking the pleasure there while my other hand massaged other parts of my body and my breathing intensified. I began thrashing around, enjoying the full experience.

I caught a sense of masculine erotic energy. It's not something I'm usually in touch with and words don't evoke it. It's like cock and balls and pubic hair and musky masculine scent. It feels like my father. I wish I could communicate it, but even experiencing it is fleeting.

I let myself quietly appreciate my experience at the conclusion. It was good.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure

I woke up early this morning and did my orgasmic yoga practice. I was mostly sitting down and lying back. I didn't really include lots of movement. I let my body guide me in offering it pleasure, beginning with my inner thighs. I was continuously stimulating my penis for nearly two hours. I could have gone longer. I'm getting better at finding deep levels of pleasure without the risks of edging.

At one point, I oiled up my feet. I enjoy the primal feeling I get from my feet, but I'm still uptight sharing that pleasure with others. I'm thinking about making feet a more central aspect of my practice – maybe incorporating them in my logo. My toes remind me of my ape ancestry. Sometimes I get in touch with that as they curl when I'm feeling erotic pleasure. I consider feet to be sacred. After oiling them up and rubbing them for a while, I licked the oil off the bottom of my right foot – leaving me with lubed lips.

I also explored the scent and taste of my armpits. I showered last night, so it was subtle which was ideal. I can't deal with overpowering pits, but I don't like them smelling soapy or perfumed, either.

I've also been trying to explore the feeling of wanting to cry that comes up sometimes when I'm masturbating. It doesn't feel like tears of joy, but I can't surrender enough to the feeling to actually tear up or name it. I try different thoughts to see what resonates, but nothing matches yet. Now, I really want to cry while I'm masturbating. Whatever it is, it must be very repressed.

It's a beautiful, rainy morning. I'm going to the gym to run soon.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga

This is my journal entry about my orgasmic yoga experience on Wednesday 2/15/12.

I had the most amazing orgasmic yoga session this morning. My intention was to pay attention to my feelings – not the physical sensations, but the emotions. Most of the time, I wasn't really noticing my emotions, but I affirmed that I was having feelings even if I couldn't identify them.

I don't know if that's what caused my experience or not, but I had read somewhere that orgasms had more of an emotional component than ejaculation. Anyway, I was able to take myself to the place of my face taking on the orgasmic flush feeling. I really was having deeper emotions tied to it. The keys I think involved not going down the ejaculation train and staying on the pleasure train.

During my typical masturbation patterns, I reach a point when I stop focusing on pleasure and begin focusing on release – even if I have no intention of ejaculating. It has more to do with muscular contractions on the prostate, although I feel the pre-ejaculatory tingling in my penis that feels so good.

This time I had inserted a finger into my anus and was paying attention to the contraction of my sphincter. I mindfully relaxed my anus as I stroked. I began focusing more on gentle pleasurable touches on my erect cock. I felt more and more pleasure, but stayed off the ejaculation track of pumping and prostate contractions. When I wasn't touching my cock, I was massaging my belly up to my heart. I was feeling more pleasure in my anus . It was the tingling in my anus that was very similar to the feeling in my cock before ejaculating, that I followed and lead me to the pre-orgasmic flush. I emotionally felt pleasure and joy and began to sense that I was either feeling a non-ejaculatory orgasm or was very close to having one. I was moaning and groaning in ecstasy.

I love the flush that I feel as it makes me feel so open to the flow of pleasure in my body. It takes work to get there, but it is freaking amazing. I feel beautiful and amazing. I can finally see how I am hot. I love that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

"I'm only doing this because I love you"

I've got a new blog post at The Rex Harley Experience:  A New Tool for the New year

During this morning's orgasmic yoga, I found that I wanted to hear that as I was being spanked. I had some strong emotional feelings as I was spanking myself this morning. Spanking myself felt so good an I noticed how happy it made me feel.

When you hear stories told of being spanked when growing up, you hear the spanker saying he's only doing it because he loves you. I was scared of being spanked as a child. My father was very volatile emotionally, but after a certain age, I stopped getting loving messages from him as they were replaced by messages of disappointment. Now, I want to be spanked and to be told that it's for my own good and that he's only doing it because he loves me. I want to be loved hard.

I keep myself under tight emotional control. There are times when I am feeling something strongly and I hold it back and hide it. My father always seemed so angry that I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be in control of my emotion - like Spock on Star Trek, the opposite of my father. As a result, I lack some passion in my life.

I hope that I can begin to express my emotions more freely. Maybe part of the process will be exploring my feelings as I am being spanked out of love.

What erotic experiences might you explore to release past emotional blocks?

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Ejaculation

I let myself ejaculate during yesterday's orgasmic yoga practice. It's hard to maintain the feeling of being in love with yourself. It's easy to fall back into unconsciousness where the only goal is physical pleasure.

Yesterday, I loved myself physically. It was my joy to give myself pleasure. Near the end, I was telling the mirror to "open your heart to me." I realized in that moment that I had the capacity to be in love with myself. I felt that deep desire within my heart to be completely connected with myself. I opened my heart, poured my love out on myself, and ejaculated.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic relaxation

This mornings Orgasmic Yoga practice lead directly to the insights in today's blog post: http://blog.rexharley.com/2011/09/living-through-body.html

This morning's Orgasmic Yoga was not broadcast on the web cam. My intention was to relax. I have a lot of tension in my right side - my neck and shoulder. My practice has a slower, less rushed pace. I was intentionally relaxing my neck and shoulder as I rubbed my penis.

There were times when I would become excited - and erotically tense. I would then breathe, slow down, and relax into the sensations. I found myself experiencing more pleasure without tripping over ejaculation.

There's a sensation that I can't describe. It comes up as ejaculation begins, like a pleasurable tingling - deep inside. Today, I felt as though I was able to dip down into that sensation and pull out a handful - allowing my whole body to experience it, but without ejaculating. I will try those relaxation sessions more often.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

"Personal" Lubricant

Yesterday during my Orgasmic Yoga practice, I avoided lube and used the loose skin on my dick in combination with my PA (Prince Albert) to stimulate myself. After fifteen or twenty minutes, I  built up enough pre-cum to use it as lubricant. I love the idea and sensation of masturbating with my own juices. It's so slippery and slick and light, and it's all me.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic Yoga Session

There was something different about yesterday's orgasmic yoga. I wanted to be fully in the present moment, but I didn't feel it.

I began with an intention, "I forget myself today as I surrender to the flow of life." Then as I was masturbating and moving and feeling the energy, I looked over and saw the "I Am" map that I made for the 4T class. I saw a phrase that I had forgot to put on the first version, "I Am free." I began using that phrase, repeating it as I focused on my heart and the physical sensations. In freedom, I tried to touch every part of my body that I could think of. I rubbed oil on my feet and calves and thighs. I kissed my toes. I held myself near ejaculation and told myself to relax and let the energy flow. I touched my anus and crack with my hand and remembered how I used to cause myself deep rectal contractions when I played - years ago. I would push the piss out of myself as I played. I recognized that I was seeking another level of consciousness and began focusing on the present moment, and I didn't feel present.

I acknowledged that I don't usually feel present. I often feel separate from myself. I don't feel real to myself. In my altered state, I was able to admit that I don't feel present. My experience of the world is often being filtered through my thoughts. My head separates me from what feels real - even as I was having sex with myself. My goal is to be awake and present.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

My Orgasmic Yoga Practice

Here are play by play details of past orgasmic yoga sessions.

I have a daily orgasmic yoga practice that lasts between 40 to 60 minutes. If you would like to join me as a participant or an observer, please drop me an email: rex@rexharley.com. I live near Burnet and Research. I typically practice at 6:45 AM weekdays, 9 AM on Saturdays and 1 PM Sundays. Click here to see my calendar indicating when I might be available.

Please remove your shoes before entering the temple.


This is the structure of my orgasmic yoga sessions.

Opening
    I begin by reading my "personal statement," my mission statement and my vision statement
    Next I'll state an intention
    Then you can say whatever you like as part of your ritual opening
    I'll set a timer for 20 minutes
I'll do about 5 minutes of heart pleasure kegels (see below)
I'll probably do erotic trance dancing and/or self erotic massage (see below)
When the timer goes off, I like to work up to a big draw
After the big draw, we'll take a few minutes to be quiet and reflect
Then we can bring things to a close

Heart Pleasuring:

The masturbator should clench the pelvic floor muscles with each breath, visualizing the heart pulling erotic energy up from the genitals.


Erotic Trance Dancing:

Erotic Trance Dancing involves moving to music as your caress yourself into a highly aroused, erotically embodied state.


Self Erotic Massage:

Orgasmic Yoga meditations involve an enduring state of sexual arousal that is maintained with relatively little stimulation.

The mindful, highly aroused, and easily maintained erotic trance states discussed here are consciously created by touching ourselves, by moving, and by placing our attention on the pulsating interior life of our bodies.

Here your placement of attention is focused on your self-touch, on your breathing, on your movement, and on the feelings of aliveness and pleasure within your body in the present movement.

We recommend constant self-touch. While one hand stimulates the genitals, the other hand caresses, vibrates and kneads other parts of your body. Your placement of attention is both on your feelings of being touched and on the experience of giving touch. Repeating various self-touch strokes ten, twenty or more times allows for your awareness to focus on and savor what is being experienced within.

Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 39 through 43

12/19/2010 - Sunday - Session 39

Today's orgasmic yoga practice went longer than planned. Instead of trance dancing or erotic self massage, I mounted a fleshlight on a stand and used it to feel pleasure. I tried to consciously fuck the fleshlight.

The fleshlight is one of my favorite toys. Mounting it allowed me to rock my hips in a way that satisfied the sexual top in me. It left both of my hands free to touch other parts of my body and spread the erotic energy.

After my big draw, I wasn't satisfied. As I continued stimulating myself, I tried for some orgasmic implosions to produce some semen. I also used the aneros stimulator to practice my anal control I became more aroused and continued my erotic play for another hour or so. I pulled out a condom and put it over the head of my vibrator and inserted it in my anus. I jazzed on that for a long time.

When I was done with that, I stimulated some semen out of myself. I smelled it and tasted it. Then I went back to the fleshlight. I practiced for a while longer feeling the stimulation and avoiding ejaculation, slapping on my chest and spreading the energy. I knew I needed to stop or I would ejaculate, but I didn't know how to bring things to a close.

Eventually, I was able to tear myself away from the fleshlight and go into another big draw. I can see that allowing myself to breath and move more leading up to my big draw will help the energy go farther.

12/20/2010 - Monday - Session 40

For today's orgasmic yoga practice, I'm releasing the idea of alternating erotic trance dancing and erotic self massage. Now, I will appeal to that part of myself that knows what I need. I did, however, do erotic trance dancing.

I decided to wear my purple dress again. At one point, I put one foot on the dresser - which was difficult in heals. This accentuated my calf and exposed my genitals for play. This encouraged me to massage my penis through my dress as I danced. I'm also getting more practice at standing and dancing while wearing heals. Feeling my nipples through the fabric of my dress feels great. Then I took off my dress and kept dancing in my heals and touching my body.

The time for my big draw came and I laid back and built my breathing and movement. I left the heals on. I remembered to bring in my hip movement with my breathing. I was feeling erotic pleasure with my big draw.

I laid back and relaxed and caught my breath. I did the vibration I do to get some semen. It tasted good, but I wanted more. There's something special about this process - whether it's really orgasmic implosion or not. There's a sense of opening in the perineum as the muscles slowly contract and push out the semen. I tried it again. I felt the opening again, but no semen came out. I picked up my breathing and hip movement. I tried to feel the opening and contraction. I focused my attention and felt the contraction and focused on sustaining it.

There was so much pleasure - like a long and continuous ejaculation without ejaculating. I felt like I was cumming, but I didn't. I get to this point by pressing above my penis and below the bone above it. When the sensation begins, I now feel around the root of my penis - pressing in and around. It kept that pre-ejaculation feeling going and feels fucking fantastic.

12/21/2010 - Tuesday - Session 41

I chose to do erotic self massage today. After my heart pleasuring, I sat down on the chaise and faced South. I laid back, oiled myself up, put on my blindfold and began the massage. It seemed easier to focus on the sensation while wearing my blindfold and I became erect quickly.

I did conscious breathing and I moved my hips and rubbed my oiled penis and my oiled chest and nipples. I like touching the area between my penis and thighs - where things come together - each side joining at the perineum. Several times, I was able to quickly rub my penis and stimulate the pre-orgasmic tingling, before my body had a chance to ejaculate.

I was very wild by the time the big draw came. I felt myself begin to ejaculate as I stimulated myself during the big draw. I clenched as tight as I could and pounded my chest. I didn't stop the ejaculation, but it didn't seem to be as intense as I clenched. After resting a bit, it seemed that my arousal had not been depleted. I could go again, and I nearly did. This was very productive. Keep practicing these kegels!!

12/22/2010 - Wednesday - Session 42

After my heart pleasuring kegels, I started with trance dancing. My intention was being consciously aware of God's presence in my life.

I decided to use the aneros while I danced. It takes concentration for me to hold it in by constricting my sphincter. Sometimes I was bent over. When I stood up, I need to push it back in from time to time. I stood upright and held my legs together to hold it in. I touched my nipples and sides. I rubbed oil on my penis. That made my anal muscles contract. I enjoyed the tingling. I got on my knees with my ass in the air. Now I could touch my body without worrying about the aneros slipping out. I touched my lower back and tail bone. I rubbed my nipples and sides. Again, I focused on the sensations as I experience more pleasure than normally possible.

I did my big draw.

After resting, I decided to have a little semen. I rubbed that spot that I like. I felt my perineum open. This time, something unexpected happened. I touched my perineum and a spurt of semen came out. Suddenly a small jet landed in my hand. How cool! It smelled and tasted great. I enjoyed savoring it. I'll explore that reflex more in the future.

12/23/2010 - Thursday - Session 43

I forgot to set an intention for today's orgasmic yoga. I left it open ended and unplanned. I spent the first five minutes with heart pleasuring kegels. Then I did some movement and touching. I moved to my knees and bent over. After a few minutes, I mounted the fleshlight. It was very stimulating, so I was breathing deeply. I realized I wasn't touching the rest of my body, so I began slapping my chest, sides and ass. Then I was able to do more movement with the fleshlight without ejaculating.

I was moving and breathing when it came time for the big draw. I laid back on the floor and built up my breathing and movement. I was rocking onto my back and forward, almost so that I could stand up, all while stimulating my penis. I took my three, noise making breaths as I clenched for the big draw.

When I couldn't clench anymore, I laid back and relaxes. I did a fairly good job of avoiding extraneous thought during the session. I thought about tonight's 3 circle ritual

I tried to duplicate yesterday by trying to produce some semen and make one spurt of it. I wasn't paying attention and ejaculated. I'm not judging, just learning.

Session 43.5

I had an excellent experience at the three circle ritual. I tried to focus on my own experience to start. I tried to avoid focusing on an erection. At first, it felt like I was being drained of erotic energy. I couldn't get it to flow.

I continued to do soft cock massage. I eventually stepped into the inner circle when I felt aroused enough. I began working with another man. In a couple of minutes, something happened. I looked around and saw all of these naked men. Many of them were erect, giving themselves pleasure, or sharing pleasure with other men. I can't explain. It's like I saw them for the first time, like I was suddenly present. I felt an opening, a simple erotic joy. It felt like waking up and realizing the dream was real. It was so hot!

I was able to ride that new awareness for the rest of the time. Anytime the energy felt it was dropping, I thought about being surrounded by hard naked men. I shared my energy and gave and received and mirrored it. I would call it an awareness. I was aware of the nakedness and erotic power and purity. I want more of that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic Yoga Practice

I have begun the Yoga of Sex course from the The New School of Erotic Touch. My first assignment was to observe a daily spiritual practice of orgasmic yoga for thirty days. I've been instructed to journal my experiences. Being the exhibitionist I am, I decided to post my journal entries on my adult blog. What is Orgasmic Yoga?

Here's the temple where I practice:

Here's the master index of those experiences:
Session 1 through 13
Session 14: Furniture Jumping
Session 15: Self Love
Session 16: Heart Pleasure
Session 17: Hot Energy
Session 18: Healing Energy
Session 19: Fucking Myself
Session 20: Semen without Ejaculation
Sessions 21 and 22: Healing and Spraying
Sessions 23, 24 and 25
Session 26: Healing the world
Sessions 27 through 32
Sessions 33 through 38
Sessions 39 through 43

Future sessions will appear here:
June 10, 3013: Creative Erotic Energy
March 2, 2012: Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy
February 18, 2012: Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure
February 15, 2012: Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga
January 2, 2012: I'm only doing this because I love you
September 13, 2011: Ejaculation
September 7, 2011: Orgasmic Relaxation
August 30, 2011: "Personal" Lubrication
January 8, 2011: Freedom and Presence


If you would like to join me as a participant or an observer: My Orgasmic Yoga Practice

Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 33 through 38

12/13/2010 - Monday - Session 33

I had a great orgasmic yoga session today. Not very emotional, but very pleasurable. My intention today was healing. I did erotic self massage.

After my heart pleasuring kegels, I laid back on the chaise and began massaging myself with oil. After becoming aroused, I inserted an aneros stimulator in my anus and continued massaging. If you're not familiar, the aneros stimulator is a small plastic device designed to rest against the prostate. It's shape allows it to be moved through anal muscle contractions. Ideally, these contractions can be caused by the stimulation spontaneously, which in turn causes more contractions and stimulation.

Anyway, using this device provided feedback on my level of stimulation. I could more easily feel contractions that warned of a build up to ejaculation. This allowed me to provide stimulation to my penis and not provide so much as to ejaculation When I felt close, I switched to another lighter stimulation and continued. I felt the flush of orgasm again, but I still want more.

I was so pleased with this, that I continued past the limit of my yoga session. I found it to be worth it.

In future sessions, I want to involve my heart and emotions more. I want a greater sensation of love and peace. I want to focus my love on healing the world - beginning with myself.


12/14/2010 - Tuesday - Session 34

Today, I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was to be more aware of my emotions.

I danced and did my breathing. I inserted an aneros stimulator in my anus and gripped it. It was difficult. I'm not sure if it was because my muscles were relaxed, or because my contractions were pushing it out. I enjoyed it.

I'm still having difficulty clearing my midn. It's natural, but I keep thinking and having trouble staying present. I think it will involve more practice.

After my big draw, I thought about my intention. I began saying to msyelf “I surrender” as a mantra. I tried to be aware of my feelings. It came to me, “I dont' know what I'm doing.” Maybe that doesn't sound good, but I loved it. How freeing. There is a truth to it, even though I know many things and have strong skills. At any given moment, I am practicing new behaviors and doing things I've never done before. I've never made a living as a sacred intimate before. I'm laying on the floor in the temple, looking at the walls. I'm on a new path. I don't know what I'm doing. It's OK for me to make mistakes as I move forward. I will find my way.


12/15/2010 - Wednesday - Session 35

I did erotic self massage and my intention was surrender.

The first part of learning to release thoughts is to become aware when they are taking you out of the present moment. I was able to do that today. I used my aneros again. It's an excellent tool for releasing pleasure from the anus and rectum. I felt somewhat orgasmic several times and enjoyed manipulating the stimulation through muscle control.

I felt myself getting tense in my neck and shoulders several times. Then I would try to surrender and relax into the moment.

Eventually I pulled out the vibrator. With the aneros stimulator still in my anus, I vibrated the bone above my penis, and my heart. I was moaning and groaning with pleasure. I noticed I wasn't breathing freely and that I was tense. When I did, I tried to relax and accept the pleasure.

Several times, I felt my penis tingling as it does before ejaculation. I tried to continue the stimulation to keep the tingling going without ejaculating. I was having a wonderful time, but I was tense again and not breathing freely. It's wonderful to abandon yourself to the sensations, but my intention has been to be more conscious and aware. In this way, I can experience continuous sensation (tingling) for a longer time. That, I think, can lead to ejaculation-less orgasms - where I feel flushed and ecstatic.

I put the vibrator between my legs and clenched at it. I was feeling fantastic tingling pre-orgasm feelings. At some point, I began ejaculating - but it was worth it. There were contractions within contractions and the aneros was tickling my anal sphincter.

As I relaxed, I felt happy and fulfilled. It was during this time that I recognized how thinking and forgetting to be conscious (leading to muscle contractions) took me out of the meditative state of awareness. This is my practice for now.


12/16/2010 - Thursday - Session 36

I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was surrender.

I didn't focus as much on getting an erection today. I focused on the sensation of my touch. I kept one hand near my penis and ran my other hand over my body - focusing on pleasure.

The nice thing is that as I was building up to my big draw, I surrendered... to myself. It's another of those “hard to explain” things. I was giving myself pleasure and surrendering to it. I particularly liked the feel of my inner thighs. I smiled as I surrendered to my self-love.

I rewarded myself with a little orgasmic implosion semen.


12/17/2010 - Friday - Session 37

I did erotic self massage today. My intention was to surrender.

I surrendered to my touch. I surrendered to the sensations. I used the aneros again. It really helps me focus on what my kegel muscles are doing. I was able to experience some extremely sustained erotic pleasure.

I also recognized that I do know what I'm doing. I know how to love myself with pleasure. I know how touching more than just my genitals gives me joy. I know how breathing and conscious touch can provide me ecstatic pleasure. All of this when I surrender to my inner wisdom; when I trust that the deeper part of my knows what I need.

I unintentionally ejaculated after my big draw while I was trying to push out some semen. It's always amazing now because I almost always have multiple orgasms during my ejaculation. Very surprising.


12/18/2010 - Saturday - Session 38

I did erotic trance dancing today. Again, my intention was surrender.

I'm more able to arouse the sexual energy when I trust that there's a part of me that knows what it's doing. It seems obvious that I should know what feels good and pleasurable. But that doesn't come through when I'm busy trying to figure out how to get the energy to flow. I have to get myself to stop trying and just listen for the still small voice within that just knows what works.

If you were paying attention, yes, I did just say God was within me. This infinite diving knowledge makes hir: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun) home within us and is available when we slow down and listen. But that's just my opinion.

At one point, I recognized that the body I was pleasuring was God's body. How very sacred to give pleasure to the body of God, the physical manifestation of God. How powerful to be permitted and directed to give pleasure to this body.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 27 through 32

12/07/2010 - Tuesday - Session 27

I did erotic self massage for my orgasmic yoga today. My intention was to experience myself as love.

Most of the time, I was sitting and watching myself in the mirror. I enjoyed taking myself close to ejaculation and sending that healing pleasure out to the world.

When it was time for the big draw, I fist stood up and kept bringing myself to the edge as I pushed that energy out. I was able to push out some semen - I think it's called orgasmic implosion when that happens. Then I went into the big draw.

After resting, I fiddled with myself and unintentionally ejaculated. I didn't think I would since I was trying to be careful, but I wasn't as conscious as I was relaxing. At some point, I will learn to stop once I am satisfied.


12/08/2010 - Wednesday - Session 28

I did erotic trance dancing for my orgasmic yoga today. My intention was “I Am centered in the eternal present moment.”

I used an ace bandage as a cock ring. I found it very arousing to direct the erotic energy out into the world. I don't think I've experienced quiet that feeling before. Usually when people say “Fuck the world,” they mean it disparagingly - but if fucking is an act of love, then it gets very hot.

I tried to ramp up the sensation with some light pain by using first clothespins and then nipple clamps. When I began using the nipple clamps, I put on the blindfold to fully experience the sensations without any distractions.

At one point, I lost the erotic feeling, but not the erection. I think that means that I can slow down sometimes and stop trying to force the flow. My purpose with this practice is to learn how to get the erotic energy flowing of its own accord without my trying to force it.

I used pain during my big draw. I pulled on the nipple clamps during my last three big breaths. I took the clamps off as I began to clench. I'm not sure how it affected my experience when I relaxed. After releasing, I pulled a pillow over my face. I then experienced an emotion I can't put my finger on yet. It wasn't physical, but I felt something that made me want to groan with pleasure and release. Maybe it was an emotional orgasm.


12/09/2010 - Thursday - Session 29

Today, I did erotic self massage and my intention was to be more consciously aware of God's presence since life has been difficult to manage lately.

I was able to focus on experiencing the pleasure in my penis and avoid ejaculation. There's that electric feeling you get in your dick as you get closer to cumming. It's pure pleasure. Small movements can make for strong sensations. By focusing on my breathing consciously, I was able to keep stimulating those sensations without ejaculating. Breathing and consciously relaxing the perineum, I took more pleasure than would normally be possible.

I was highly energized going into my big draw. I didn't have any big revelations. I just tried to relax and let my mind be clear.

After resting, I pressed in and vibrated on the area just above my penis and below the bone that's there. That let me push out some delicious and sacred semen. I stopped after that. Yay!

Session 29.5

I did my first communal orgasmic yoga practice tonight. It was a 3 circle ritual. I was with a small group of men. I would like to make this a regular part of my spiritual practice.

I have been very skilled at raising my energy in my solo practice, but the erotic energy felt impeded in the group. It was more difficult for me to allow the energy to flow. I think the other men were distracting me. When I go back, I will stay in the awakening circle longer. I only want to enter the fire circle when my erotic energy is flowing strongly and is sustainable.


12/10/2010 - Friday - Session 30

This morning's orgasmic yoga was erotic trance dancing. My intention was healing.
To begin, I again worked with heart pleasuring kegels and pelvic rocking. I tried to continue with the kegels as I danced. Lately I've been having difficulty experiencing without thinking. I keep palling back into believing that an erection leads the arousal, rather than the other way around. I keep thinking I need to get that erection so that I can feel the pleasure that feeds my arousal. Or that I need to think the right erotically charged fantasy thought. But the erotic energy comes from a deeper place. Any thoughts - even one's that you think would force the energy to rise - can impede the flow.

Today was my thirtieth session, but I intend to continue using this tool for my spiritual growth. To celebrate this milestone, after my big draw, I folded my penis behind my thighs and used a vibrator that I was squeezing between my thighs to stimulate myself to ejaculation. Since I was aroused and I haven't ejaculated in a while, I didn't take very long to shoot. I tried hard to last as long as I could with conscious breathing and conscious relaxation - but it was still over very quickly. It was nice to have an intentional ejaculation to mark this milestone.


12/11/2010 - Saturday - Session 31

Today I did erotic self massage. My intention was the affirmation “I Am Love.”

I had some difficulty getting my juices flowing today. My breathing was good, but I reached a point where I didn't feel aroused. I didn't put a time limit on today's session. I was hoping to spend the whole time on edge, feeling the waves of pleasure. Avoiding expectation is probably a good idea for orgasmic yoga.

Once I gave up and surrendered, I started feeling more aroused. I was able to take myself closer to the edge and feel that tingling sensation that comes before orgasm. I was able to avoid ejaculating today.


12/12/2010 - Sunday - Session 32

Today, I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was an affirmation from church, “I surrender to God to be an instrument of love and healing.” This affirmation seemed hand crafted for me.

I wore my purple dress with my purple heals. I opened myself to allow my divine feminine to dance and touch. It was fun play. I let my cock and balls hang outside of the pantyhose to rub against the soft fabric of the dress. I pulled the dress off and rocked my hips to rub my penis against the pillows. I left the heals on almost the whole time.

When time came for my big draw, everything came off as I laid on the massage table. I focused my energy on an upcoming rendezvous with my partner. I would like to lay him on this massage table and let him be God for a while, as I use my body temple to love him.

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Orgasmic Yoga Session 26 - Healing the world

I did erotic trance dancing for my orgasmic yoga practice today. This is my first practice since last Sunday. I've added 13 sessions to my planned 30 sessions for a total of 43 sessions by the time I'm done. I fully expect to continue these yoga sessions in the future as a regular part of my spiritual practice.

My intention today was listening for my conscious contact with God. I didn't have any trouble getting the erotic energy to flow while doing heart pleasuring/kegels. I wore the ace bandage cock ring again and the bells on my ankles.

I directed my focus North, South, East and West as I danced. I felt the energy in the form of my dancing erection. After I laid down for my big draw, I got my energy going with some erotic self massage. At one point, I was very consciously aware of healing the world literally with this energy flowing out of me. It made me really hot and erotically excited. I would love to do that all the time.

I played with myself for a while after I cooled off. I was able to push out a taste of semen. I did that by stimulating myself without actually touching my penis - but by vibrating my pelvic bone just above my penis.

I liked it.

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Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 23, 24 and 25

11/26/2010 - Friday - Session 23

I did self erotic massage for my orgasmic yoga this morning. After my heart pleasuring kegel warm up, I used the fleshlight. It was fun, but I decided to switch to laying on my back and self pleasuring. I ran out of time after I had barely begun my erotic massage. All of the following happened after I decided to continue feeling pleasure.

I've found recently that I can take more pleasure by relaxing and breathing consciously. I was able to go further with that then I have in the past. It's hard to explain, but at one point, the sensation reminded me of the beginning of the first ejaculation contraction. The pleasure was amazing. I imagined the energy going up my spine, over my head and down my front. If I used any different strokes, I would ejaculate. Even when I got close and wanted to stop, I would use some tiny motion to stimulate myself just a hair more.

At one point. I got in touch with the love that I was experiencing with myself. The physical pleasure was stimulating a sense of love in my heart. It made me happy and I smiled.

My big draw seemed like an anti-climax compared to the love. I pushed out some semen as the big draw began. I pushed myself a little too far and stimulated my penis a little more and ejaculated. But it felt like there were mini ejaculations in the backdrop of the larger one. I came two more times while I was cumming.


11/27/2010 - Saturday - Session 24

Today, I did forty five minutes of meditation before my orgasmic yoga. My intention was to find a missing cat. I did erotic trance dancing. I wrapped a bandanna around my cock and balls as a cock-ring for a while. I danced with my sarong wrapped around my waist so I could rub my cock against the fabric as I danced. Eventually I put on my purple dress for a while - with my penis hidden behind my thighs. I viewed myself with a simulated vagina. When the dress came off, I put the sarong back on, held in place by nipple clamps. I danced and held that erotic energy until my big draw.

I did the big draw twice since I was distracted during the first and did not clench. The second, I brought myself to the ejaculation before clenching. Afterward, I rested my nose near my armpit. I didn't cool down too much and stimulated myself some more before bringing things to a close.

Doing this work, I've remembered climbing the rope in gym class before I ever learned how to masturbate. I would get these amazing sensations of heat that made me feel flushed as I pulled my crotch up along the rope. I think these were orgasms. The sensations I've been experiencing lately are of the same quality. Now, I'd like to learn to experience these sensations again.

11/28/2010 - Sunday - Session 25

Orgasmic yoga today was erotic self massage. My intention was thanksgiving since the missing cat returned. I used rose scented oil again.

There's not much to report. I'm getting better at accepting more pleasure by focusing on the sensation and not going on autopilot. After the big draw, I lingered longer than I planned and accidentally ejaculated.

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Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 21 and 22: Healing and Spraying

11/24/2010 - Wednesday - Session 21

Today's orgasmic yoga was very tingly. My intention was to be aware that “I Am centered in the creative flow of good.” Today, I used self erotic massage. It didn't take long to become aroused. I started into the pleasure that I like using the juicer and fire strokes. I kept my conscious breathing and surrendered to stronger sensations of pleasure. I relaxed my perineum to go further. I began tingling all over. This is the sensation that I associate with healing energy. I spread that over my chest and belly.

My legs were in the air. I was using rose scented massage oil for the first time today. With my arms and legs in the air, it felt like my body was the petals of a rose and my erect penis was the stamen. I find that delightful.

I spread the energy over my ass and thighs while my legs were in the air. Then I began directing it out through my hands. I found that I could keep stimulating myself without climaxing as long as I could let that flow of energy go out faster than it was coming in. For a while, I directed it out in general, but then I began focusing on my partner. I imagined having sex with him and pumping him full of this sexual/spiritual/healing energy. First I focused on his whole body, then I focused on his head and ears.

I was really tingling and full of energy when the timer went off, so it was easy to carry into my big draw. Once again, I as able to push out some semen without a full ejaculation. This time, I had to pound on my thighs with my fists to avoid a full ejaculation. Again, very fantastic and delicious.


11/25/2010 - Thursday - Session 22

Today I did erotic trance dancing for my orgasmic yoga. I like having erections while I dance, but it's not required. This time, in addition to my ankle bells and nipple clamps, I wore my sarong like a cape around my neck. I worked up an erection and began imagining spraying the walls with healing erotic energy from my erect penis. My temple is nearly complete. I consider it sacred ground and always remove my clothes before entering for ritual.

I had become quite aroused by the time of my big draw. I've been working on controlling the muscles of my pelvic floor - both contracting and bearing down. Bearing down is how I imagine pushing the erotic energy out of my body into the world. It's also a way to postpone ejaculation. Once again, I was able to emit some semen without a full ejaculation. Part of the reason this may be possible is that I haven't ejaculated in a long time.

After resting, I stared massaging my penis again. I spent thirty minutes or so just enjoying the pleasure and appreciating the feel of my penis in my hands. I love being a man.

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Orgasmic Yoga Session 20: Semen without Ejaculation

I skipped my orgasmic yoga session yesterday. I didn't feel that I had the time or the energy to have any satisfaction in it. But today's was probably the best erotic trance dance version of orgasmic yoga yet. I bought wrist bracelets with bells. I used the bracelets as anklets. I used an ace bandage as a cock ring. I started feeling aroused right away. As I continued dancing, I used the nipple clamps and put clothespins on my anus and at the base of my balls. The stimulation fed my arousal.

When I knew time for the big draw was getting closer, I sat down in front of the mirror and did some cock massage. I started spreading that energy around and feeling lots of pleasure. I kept stimulating myself going into my big draw. I felt one gentle spasm as if I might start to ejaculate as I clenched and held. After being still for a few minutes, I sat up and discovered I had pushed out some semen. It wasn't much, but it was delicious and I savored every drop. Is this orgasmic implosion?

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Orgasmic Yoga Session 19: Fucking Myself

Today's orgasmic yoga was erotic self massage. After doing heart pleasuring and pelvic rocking, I laid down with my legs folded up and my cock and balls behind my thighs. It got really intense since I was able to stimulate my penis at the same time as my perineum and anus. I was spreading the energy from my cock to my ass and sometimes rocking as if I was fucking myself. It was very sweet and hot.

At some point, I rolled back on to my back, but continued to stroke from my anus, over my testicles, up my penis and back to my heart. I focused on approaching the ejaculation and backing off when I felt my body tingling. I felt my face turn red and felt the tingling all over. It was a gentle orgasm without the ejaculation.

I tried to carry this into my big draw. My mind was noisy after my big draw. I kept thinking I could enhance the sensation by doing something - kegels, focusing on my perineum, something... I didn't really cool off. After a few minutes I started rubbing myself again, feeling the tingles. I would love to do this all day.

I sat up and stroked my hands up my still hard cock, spreading the energy around my chest. I tell myself “I love you.” I say “Thank you, God.”

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Orgasmic Yoga Session 18: Healing Energy

Today was my first orgasmic yoga session since Sunday. I hurt myself last Saturday and have been having trouble with pain since then. This was my first time back. I did erotic trance dancing. I wore a cock ring from the start and added clothespins to my nipples. When I was bouncing on the chaise, I felt what I call the erotic energy rising from my crotch. It's that arousal I used to feel more often in my twenties. It's a kind of erotic heat and arousal. I want to foster experiencing that more often. I think it's the erotic energy that can be used for healing.

At any rate, I switched and moved the clothespins to my dick and put on the nipple clamps and put on my blindfold. I then totally focused on the physical sensations in my body. I could focus on movement and the movement generated sensations that fed my arousal. I kept moving the clothespins around my dick, taint, tail bone and anus. When it came time for my big draw, my whole body was bringing me pleasure. I rubbed my forehead with the bottom of my feet and gave them a kiss. I looked at my hairy legs and thighs and drank in the image. I was very happy. I laid one hand on my belly just above my cock and used the other hand to vibrate my heart. I felt pure pleasure coming from those heart vibrations.

After the big draw, I enjoyed doing some kegels to make my cock bounce. I enjoyed the pleasure in my body and slowly relaxed.

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Orgasmic Yoga Session 17: Hot Energy

Today's orgasmic yoga (Sunday November 14) was erotic self massage. It felt really good. At one point, it felt as if my hands got really hot and I could feel the heat as I rubbed my chest and belly. It felt like hot water. I was taking a lot more pleasure without ejaculating than normal. I was trying to spread that energy of almost ejaculating.

My fingers were tingling after my big draw, but my mind started judging and feeling as if I was missing something. I guess I want to have more of that joyful energy when I'm done.

I played with myself for a few more minutes after my five minute rest. I laid on my side with my legs pulled up and my cock and balls on the other side - on the same side as my anus. I liked rubbing my penis on the underside of my thighs. I think I'll try that again. It was playfully enjoyable.

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