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Sunday, November 13, 2011

My First Ejaculation

This is from a journal entry on Saturday October 29, 2011

I have updated my XXX website with some old videos. Hopefully some new videos will be out in the next few months.

During this morning's Orgasmic Yoga practice, at one point I reflected on my first ejaculation. I was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom at my grandmother's house. I had read in a medical encyclopedia or something that masturbation was massage of the genitals. I was using a hand lotion and rubbing my penis like I was giving it a back rub. Nothing spectacular was happening, but it was fun.

Then my hand was wrapped around my dick and I stroked it. For the first time, I felt an electric shiver of pleasure and my cock started getting hard.

I kept stroking and was dumbstruck by the pleasure I was feeling. I had never experienced anything like it and each stroke was ecstasy.

Then the contractions of ejaculation began. Cum was shooting out of my cock for the first time. The powerful contractions were scary at first since they were so alien, but I recognized the white fluid as semen very quickly. I had a big smile on my face as I recognized that I had finally figured out how to jerk of. I could smell the cum. Everything was new. I was scared someone would smell the cum and know what I had done.

No one had told me how to do it. I had never seen any videos. I figured it out on my own. I would have been too embarrassed to ask how my body worked and no one was mature enough in my family to explain it.

At that age, I was not emotionally mature. I knew I would be in trouble if anyone found out I masturbated. As a society, we seem to encourage perpetual immaturity around sex. What if I had been encouraged to explore my body? What if someone had taught me how to give myself pleasure or guided me through my first ejaculation? As it is, my sex life became a separate area – isolated from any human contact. Now I'm trying to be one again. For me, that seems to lie in the direction of making sex a central part of my life and expanding from there. That seems easier than trying to bring sex into the non-sexual or sexually averse areas of life – like work and family. That is the essence of Rex Harley.

How can I encourage a more mature understanding of sex in the broader society? It's time for society to grow up. How do you know when it's the right time to guide a child to his first ejaculation? When he begins trying to understand. If you make it safe to ask about sex, he will ask you when the time is right.

It's not possible to teach sexual responsibility when parents are determined to allow sexual ignorance, so we have more and more unwanted pregnancies. It has to become acceptable for children to ask sexual questions and to be able to give age appropriate answers.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I am a child at play

This is from a journal entry on Saturday 11/5/2011

I'm masturbating as I write this. My cock is hard. I masturbated during my Orgasmic Yoga practice this morning. Now I'm exploring ideas while feeling erotic pleasure.

I think what I teach is sexual innocence. I'm a grown man with a hairy sexy body, but I am still naïve. I am a child at play. My dick feels good as I stroke it. The pleasure rolls across my body. I could cum, but I don't.

How do I teach others the value of play? We take things so seriously. What is the first lesson I will teach?

Maybe I teach like this – touching myself. I feel my heart beat faster. I am excited at the thought. I think people seeing me masturbate might give them permission to join me.

Maybe I should host a masturbate-a-thon, see how long people can last.

I feel my pleasure. There is sensation in the head of my dick. I can feel pressure in my heart. I like to see my thighs and the pubes above my dick. I feel my balls between my legs. I feel heat in my belly. I like the way the pleasure makes my toes curl.

I feel the muscle I use for kegels. It makes me feel like I want to pee. That's part of my pleasure.

I really want to shoot some porn. California. Can that fund my work?

I'm still masturbating 35 minutes after beginning this journal entry. I am motivated to keep working on my Yoga of Sex class – covering masturbation coaching right now. I am really enjoying my dick. My dick.

My dick is a part of me. It usually feels separate, but the pleasure rises to my heart. My dick is an extension of my heart.

I love everybody because everybody is me.

I love being a sexual plaything.