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Saturday, September 8, 2012

Erotic Massage Dancing

I'm wrapping up another assignment from my Yoga of Sex course. In this one, I practiced breathing and moving on a massage table as I received stimulating genital touch. This is a step that you must take before giving others what you first learn to receive. Now I'm better equipped at helping others experience this since I've experienced it.

First, I am posting the written part of my assignment here. Following this, I am re-printing the thank you notes that I sent out. Contact me if you would like to receive the massage that I am describing.

Assignment 5:

From Wednesday 8/29/2012 through Monday 9/3, I received touch during five erotic massage dances from five different men. I noticed that each experience was better than the last, and each was different. I attribute the improvement to learning to surrender more completely to the pleasure and letting go of my rational thoughts.
At first, the breathing patterns and movements seemed so practiced and non-spontaneous. But the last day, they were completely natural. At first, I would be distracted by thoughts. Later, I was able to let go of my thoughts and experience a dynamic erotic ecstatic meditation.

What happened in my body? Energy flowed. Everything tingled. At times, I was too ecstatic to think, and I felt peace. At least once, I felt like I had a five minute orgasm, but never ejaculated. At first it was not easy to remain conscious and dance, but it became effortless. I suspect I will need to continue this practice in order to remain open.

I've never done anything like this before. I discovered that I am part of an erotic community. I reached out to my brothers and they selflessly came to my aid. I have been overwhelmed by Body Electric intensives where a week of intimate contact forms a heart centered community. Now I find that I live in such a community. This is new to me.

In time, I hope to facilitate others in my community to experience this dance. This assignment gives you permission to make noise and dance by making it a requirement. I'm convinced that I moved in ways that were more natural. We are taught to be quiet during sex, if we have sex at all. Break free of the fear of looking foolish during this exercise by making noise and moving your body with abandon. Embarrassment and shame fall away as you embrace the ecstasy. Surrendering to the ecstasy takes you beyond thought into the present moment.

First Day:

Thank you for helping me with my homework last night. I appreciate your willingness to be of service and my willingness to be vulnerable. In my first experiment, I learned a new “pleasure spot” which lies on my scrotum. I knew how pleasurable it is to play with my balls, but this was different – having a very erotic feel. I have learned through my studies that scrotal tissue is analogous to the female labia and that this is very sensitive in the female anatomy. This leads me to believe that the erotic sensation I experienced were very feminine.

I also have a new perspective on the assignment. While the instructions seem very mechanical, I can see the ultimate goal is complete abandon. I am learning a new behavior which is somewhat awkward and forced, but it will be second nature soon.

Last, I recognize my self consciousness regarding having an erection. I love my erection and am concerned that if I lose my erection, then my partner will feel hurt. I've noticed this in 3 Circles during my own touch. I feel the need to have an erection. I became self conscious if it isn't there. I know that my concern is my issue and that I don't have to project it on others. For now, I'm satisfied being aware of it.
Thanks again for working with me. I look forward to teaching this type of erotic dance to others and hope you will allow me to show you what I've learned.

Second Day:

Thanks for your touch last night. It means a lot to me that you made yourself of service to me. I feel fortunate to have men like you in my life.

I feel that I was able to build on my experience from the previous night. I was much less bothered when I didn't have an erection, and I was more easily able to let myself embrace a sense of erotic abandon.

What was new for me this time was recognizing how this could be a style of meditation. Even when perceiving touch and breathing and moving, I found thoughts come up. They were things like remembering I forgot to have water available, wondering if you were keeping track of the time, being concerned about your back... I was mostly able to bring my attention back to my genitals and breathing and movement. I think that chasing the thoughts away is the ultimate goal of this exercise.
You asked if there was something I could wear to work to help me connect with my authentic self. I like to wear sexy underwear or my necklace, or pantyhose, or fishnet stockings. It's been a while, though. I'm thinking I want to find out how to integrate these aspects. I imaging being a conspirator. Maybe the real question is how to remain open-hearted at work. That's what I really love with the intensives. How can I communicate that I'm a sexy beast under the radar?
I hope you'll consider being available for my next assignment when I massage a man who is doing erotic massage dancing. I hope to encourage the different styles of breathing and movement and helping him keep his attention on his body in the present moment.

Third Day:
Thank you for helping me with my homework last night. I appreciate that you made yourself available and present for me.
I feel like my experiences the preceding two nights helped me prime for our time together. I have been able to progressively become more able to express and embody the pleasure I was experiencing. I was able to focus more on allowing my body to naturally respond to the pleasure I was feeling. I was able to release thoughts as they arose. I was able to enjoy my penis both when it was flaccid and when it was erect.

You seemed to be so intuitive about how to touch me. You weren't afraid to take me to my limits in the pleasure that I could endure without ejaculating. You helped me go higher than I have in the past. It was like S&M in that I was able to go further by accepting or going into the sensation. I would like to continue pushing that edge, especially since it is so physically demanding. It was wonderful.
Normally, I would have savored the experience without touch, but I especially loved the slow gentle caresses on my cock at the end. It was so sweet and delicious. Without the frenetic building of energy, the strokes on my cock were like the strumming of a harp. So peaceful and gentle as well as electric.
Thank you for our time together.

Fourth Day:
Thank you for your attentive touch. I would not have thought to have a movie night if not for your interest in my assignment. I appreciate your willingness to participate.
Each of my experiences has been different. Each of the men who have touched me has his own style and expectations. I have been the common denominator, but I have grown and learned from each experience – learning to more fully abandon myself to pleasure. This really is a practice. After such a brief time, my experience has deepened. I could only imagine what we could discover if we continued exploring, opening, and going deeper.
Something special happened during my time with you. I was able to more easily enter into the erotic meditation and let go of my distracting thoughts. I believe that had to do with my growth this week. Being free, I invited the idea of allowing my consciousness to contain both of us. I was the temple, and me, and you, and your touch. I suspect you picked up on that as you began mirroring my breath. In other circumstances, I would have found that to be distracting, but it fed into my sense of our oneness. We were one breath together.
I began to sense that watching my arousal aroused you. This allowed me to feel free to express my pleasure more freely, knowing that this pleased you and raised your energy. And then I began to feel such pleasure even though you were not focused on my penis.
While you pulled my balls and touched my pubic bone and vibrated my genitals – the erotic orgasmic waters washed over me. I had never ending cascades of pleasure throughout my body. I went deeply since there was no risk of ejaculation. I was in ecstasy for a long while. I continued to twitch with every touch.
Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.

Fifth Day:
Dear EEE,

Thank you for helping me with my homework. I wanted you to be the finale for this series of exercises. I'm glad I did.
I've been more able to let myself go with each erotic massage dance. The breathing and movement that I thought so much about earlier is more spontaneous. You quickly took me to a feeling of ecstasy for the whole massage. I especially enjoyed being touched by you because I always feel aroused by you. The thought of you touching me is always exciting. Plus you know how to touch me like no one else on Earth.
I made more sound with you than with anyone else. My erotic energy is flowing so easily right now. I love you so much. I love that we give each other freedom, and that freedom leads us back to each other. I'm glad you let me into your life. I love that seeing me in ecstasy made you feel aroused. That fed me spiritually, because I felt more connected with you.
Thank you for letting me look into your eyes as I ejaculated. I love that type of vulnerability. It let me feel an emotional romantic connection with you. To be seen when I ejaculate, to see someone looking deeply into my eyes and smile as I cross the threshold into full release is probably the most intimate and loving thing I can experience. I love that you know what I wanted and needed.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Coccygeal Sacred Intimacy

A few weeks ago, I went to see a Sacred Intimate. I had earlier heard him talk about a coccygeal massage that cause some men to have emotional reactions. Since the way to massage the coccygeal muscle is through the anus, I was more than intrigued.

Since he was on the other side of town, I got there early and waited for my appointment. I went in and we talked about what I wanted to experience. I was trying to unleash my emotions. I'm often not aware of having them. I  tend to have to figure out what I”m feeling from the context of my life.

I got up on his table face down so that we could begin with an Esalen style massage which is known for it's long strokes. I particularly liked when he straddled my head to massage my back. I got to feel his balls on the back of my neck and his taint on the back of my head.

He had me roll over and massaged my front. I let myself vocalize the pleasure I was feeling as I surrendered to it. I also began thinking about a story he had recently shared in his blog. It triggered my experience as a child when I was ridiculed for kissing another boy in the first grade.

At some point, he began the coccygeal massage. I don't recall if I was on my knees to begin with, but I remember being on my back. He tied something around my balls and it made me feel bigger. He took his time entering me as I continued relaxing into his delicious touch. I remember feelings of being stretched and of pressure and of feeling full.

I wanted to tell him how I felt I lost a part of myself when I kissed my friend in first grade. I still felt the reflection of his intimate story. He worked on my ass for a while and I was in heaven and full of compassion. Near the end, he allowed me to focus on the touch of my coccygeal nerve. As he shifted his position, he came upon a certain spot and I felt my body fill with warm energy. I felt like giggling. I wished it could last longer, but things came to a close.

When I stood up, I embraced him and told him how I reacted emotionally to his story. How it brought up my pain from the distant past. I cried at both of us having lost part of ourselves long ago and in gratitude that we were reclaiming ourselves. I told him he was loved. I meant it. I still do.

Pics from I Kissed A Boy in First Grade

I read one of my stories at a recent retreat. Here are a few pics of me standing in front of a room full of men naked telling a very vulnerable story. It was very powerful and healing for me to be heard and seen and loved and appreciated.

First Experiment

I am playing with the idea of raising erotic energy and directing it creatively to create my prosperity in a more authentic way so that I don't have to go around for forty hours a week or more pretending that the most favorite part of myself doesn't exist. So I've created this image to use in my temple. It has a picture of me at my day job in one quadrant, and it has a picture of me playing with myself in front of the camera in the opposite quadrant. I want to create a world where both can exist safely and peacefully in harmony.

I then went out and bought an easel pad/flip chart. When I do my orgasmic yoga practice, I can draw on it with magic markers or paint on it. Here's the first outcome
First Artwork

As I was self-pleasuring (masturbating) over the duality picture above and looking at my artwork, I wrote a little note of gratitude to the man in the upper left hand corner. Here's what it says.
Love Letter

I have much more respect and love for that part of myself that supports the flight of my erotic heart. He puts up with dissatisfaction at work so that I can find happiness and love elsewhere. My goal is to find a way for him to not have to fight so hard or to hide himself quite so much.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Midnight Sacrifice

I made a sacrifice at the giant penis in the fire pit at Easton Mountain last Saturday night. I arrived around midnight. It had been raining and the grass was wet and my shoes were soaked. I put down my umbrella and tucked my sarong inside it. I was now naked to the lukewarm moist air.

I began moving around the circle, touching myself. I could hear men's voices in the distance, bu I was alone with the giant charred black wooden lingam. I was raising my erotic energy slowly, feeling the pleasure wash over me. I hoped someone would come out of the shadows o celebrate with me, but this was meant to be a solo endeavor.

My intention was to reconcile how I made a living with my identity as a Sacred Intimate. I wanted to send a packet of energy off o the universe – a seed to return my heart's desire to be authentic in my daily life. I thought about hat as I stroked my cock and fondled my ass cheeks in the jeweled wet grass.

I came close to the giant phallus, sniffing I, touching my forehead to it's head. It was hard and powerful. I imagined sitting on it, even though it was bigger than my whole body.

After thirty or forty minutes, I was getting tired, so I began bringing myself slowly to the point of ejaculation, of orgasm. My cock got harder and harder – impossibly hard as I huddled close to the giant cock in the fire pit. I put the had of my dick close to it and gently took myself to the edge of ejaculation. I release my dick and the first wave of semen gently began pressing out of me – seeking the giant cock. My um oozed out and flowed down it's back.

I then gave myself some more stimulation, gently. This time I didn't let go. The second wave of cum shot out of my dick as my ass had spasms of pleasure. I poured myself on his back. The contractions were so intense after three weeks of building up that they were almost uncomfortable.

I savored the sensation as my body gently found it's equilibrium again. I bowed in deep reference and gratitude in the direction of the phallus. I put my sarong back on and quietly left.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Treasure Island Media

I'm very pleased. TIM posted a part of one of the true stories from this blog:

CUMSLOPPY STORY || Blindfolded Bottom Bitch

It's from this story posted here:

Monday, March 19, 2012

Bathhouse Fuck!

I went to the bathhouse on Saturday night. I took a pair of my “handcuffs” that I use for the illusion of restraint. I took two bandanas – one for my mouth and one for my eyes.

I began preparing for the evening at home by giving myself a quick flush. Then I climbed into my sling and used the fucking machine to fuck my ass for a while – to get me open and relaxed. I started with a slow speed and tilted my ass so that the rubber cock rubbed my prostate. I loved the feeling of it rubbing my anus as it went in and out. I then shifted so that it could go deeper. After I felt nice and sloppy, I got down on my knees and let the fucking machine fuck my mouth and throat. I wanted to be ready for anything.

When I got to the bathhouse, I got a room on the bottom floor. I stripped naked and used one bandana to gag myself. I turned off the light and opened the door as I blind folded myself and secured my hands behind my back with the handcuffs. I laid down on my belly and waited.

The waiting may be the best part. My mind is active with anticipation and fear. I'm aware of men walking past the room, seeing me bound and waiting to serve. Sometimes I get impatient and have to calm myself.

Then I felt someone touching my back. I hear the door close and a towel drop. A hand turns my head and I feel the head of a cock on my lips, but I need to spit out my gag first. This cock feels thick as it slides past my lips. I do my best to make my mouth a warm moist pleasure giving orifice for the cock that is fucking it.

The fat cock pulls out of my mouth as I feel the man climb on top of me. I feel the cock at my butt hole. He slams it in all at once and I yelp with pain. I try to relax my ass,but I need more time. He doesn't give me the time as he pulls his cock out and slams it in my ass again, making me yelp again. It's taking all of my will to keep myself from trying to pull away. I'm able to get myself to tilt my as so that he can slam it in me again, but I know it's going to hurt. He keeps fucking me that way. It's impossible for me to stay quiet. It still hurts, but becomes more tolerable. I'm incredibly turned on and hot as I'm getting rape fucked.

He comes around and sticks his hot cock covered with my ass juices back in my mouth, but he keeps banging my back teeth. He goes back to raping my ass hole. I can feel my own raging erection between my legs. I feel him dump his load in my ass. That's not what I wanted, but I relished the way it felt as this man used my butt hole to dump his fucking load. I couldn't get myself to want to resist. I've been bad and dangerous, not to mention stupid, reckless and faithful.

He climbed off me and left. I rolled over and started jacking my throbbing thick cock. Someone asked if I was OK, but saw my hard cocked and started rubbing it and sucking it. Fuck! I was in heaven. It's really tough taking a hard raping kind of fuck like that, but I really love it. I can't do it often because it's so demanding. I will do a better job of making it known not to cum in me next time. It seems like that ought to be common knowledge. Cumming in someone should be the exception, not the rule!

That wasn't the only experience that night. Earlier when I was bound and gagged, a man came in and fucked my mouth. It was just the right size and shape to slip down my throat. Once I got rid of my blindfold and handcuffs, someone else came in and sucked my dick. Someone else fucked me. I ended my evening by going to the video room to masturbate. I was up on some elevated seating in clear view of everyone as I began pleasuring myself. That would have been more than enough, but another man came up and sucked my toes before sucking my dick. I didn't tell him that he was scraping my dick with his teeth. In the end, I stuck my feet in his face and encouraged him to eat them. I was getting my feet worshiped as I masturbated, rubbing his face with my feet. I love a man who loves feet as much as I do, and I would not have been sucking toes that had been walking on that floor. Kudos to him!

Unfortunately, when I was leaving, the sheets were a little pink. It's not usually a big deal when there's a little bit of blood when getting fucked, but it wasn't very pleasant.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy

This is a journal entry from Friday, March 2, 2012

I did not go to into this morning's orgasmic yoga practice with very much energy. I came last night after fisting myself. But I went ahead and began without knowing what to expect.

After affirming my mission and purpose, I began massaging myself with coconut oil. I rubbed my chest, belly and thighs and let my erotic energy slowly build. I focused on my breathing. I rubbed some oil on my hardening cock, but didn't stimulate it immediately. As I began to include it, I avoided ejaculation producing strokes and focused on pleasure sensations. It was like playing in a meadow of pleasure instead of following a path of pleasurable release. The only difference is the direction of movement.

I found myself feeling much more energetic as I left one hand on my cock - tweaking the pleasure there while my other hand massaged other parts of my body and my breathing intensified. I began thrashing around, enjoying the full experience.

I caught a sense of masculine erotic energy. It's not something I'm usually in touch with and words don't evoke it. It's like cock and balls and pubic hair and musky masculine scent. It feels like my father. I wish I could communicate it, but even experiencing it is fleeting.

I let myself quietly appreciate my experience at the conclusion. It was good.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sourthern Carribean Cruise 2011

I forgot to post these pictures earlier. Enjoy!

Notice the exposed PA


This is sheer. You can see through if you look closely.

 Mostly naked in the main atrium!

 Smile for the camera!

This wouldn't be possible during a mainstream cruise

Saturday, February 18, 2012

My Story: Part 2

My Story: Part 1

I was not an exhibitionist growing up - maybe I was before I turned three or four. At some point, I learned to feel shame when I was naked and avoided it like the plague. At some point, I found an adult theater in Washington DC that had a back area with some platforms. I was a horn dog at that time. I ended up sitting on a man's cock one night and it turned into a doggy style fuck on a darkly lit platform above an impromptu audience. I loved it and found that I really liked the other men watching me get fucked. I felt celebrated for doing what I loved to do.

Over the years, I've had sex with many many men and enjoyed almost all of them. I learned so many ways to have sex. Everyone is different, but I tended to follow the lead of the man I was with. I tend to get off on whatever gets my partner off. It's only recently that I've seen that as part of my Sacred Intimate identity. It feels like a gift.

I had toyed with the idea of prostitution when I was in college. I didn't need the money, but thought it would be fun to get paid for something that I enjoyed. I didn't do it. Sometime in the last ten years, I found the term Sacred Intimate. Other terms that mean the same thing are temple whore or temple prostitute. Apparently in some Eastern religions, sex is seen as an avenue to enlightenment. I wonder what my life would be like if I had been able to follow that path.

I started asking how I could become a Sacred Intimate and someone at Body Electric gave me the names of some intensives I could take - Dear Love of Comrades, Healing the Wounded Healer, and Creating Sacred Intimacy. I've found it very healing and someone at my first intensive saw me as a healer. I'm convinced much of the misery in the modern world comes from sexual ignorance and repression. I began a journey to try to join the sexual and the spiritual.

I had a Christian background growing up that spanned from Presbyterian to Baptist. I learned fear there, but I never got how sex was inherently sinful. Sure, I could see bad things like rape the dishonesty of adultery, but sex itself didn't seem bad to me. It felt too good to be bad and I saw that Creator God must have made us able to experience pleasure or we wouldn't.

My spiritual foundation was the twelve step programs of NA and AA where you could have an understanding of God that worked for you. From there I got to Unity which teaches that there is only one presence and power in the universe which is God who is good. God could also be called Higher Power or Divine Consciousness - not a personality but maybe life or love itself. My spirituality is very important to me. Since I am inherently sexual, I needed to find a way to include it in my spirituality.

I think most people don't like the idea of God being present when they have sex. I come from the perspective that God is present everywhere all the time - including in me when I'm taking a fist in the ass. I believe that God experiences his world through me - so if I feel pleasure, so does God. I don't feel I have an existence apart from God. I don't necessarily want to convince other people of my beliefs, but I do want them to find out how to experience pleasure without guilt or shame. I don't think guilt and shame are necessary. Seeing sex as sacred deepens it to unbelievable depths - much more than just getting off.

Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure

I woke up early this morning and did my orgasmic yoga practice. I was mostly sitting down and lying back. I didn't really include lots of movement. I let my body guide me in offering it pleasure, beginning with my inner thighs. I was continuously stimulating my penis for nearly two hours. I could have gone longer. I'm getting better at finding deep levels of pleasure without the risks of edging.

At one point, I oiled up my feet. I enjoy the primal feeling I get from my feet, but I'm still uptight sharing that pleasure with others. I'm thinking about making feet a more central aspect of my practice – maybe incorporating them in my logo. My toes remind me of my ape ancestry. Sometimes I get in touch with that as they curl when I'm feeling erotic pleasure. I consider feet to be sacred. After oiling them up and rubbing them for a while, I licked the oil off the bottom of my right foot – leaving me with lubed lips.

I also explored the scent and taste of my armpits. I showered last night, so it was subtle which was ideal. I can't deal with overpowering pits, but I don't like them smelling soapy or perfumed, either.

I've also been trying to explore the feeling of wanting to cry that comes up sometimes when I'm masturbating. It doesn't feel like tears of joy, but I can't surrender enough to the feeling to actually tear up or name it. I try different thoughts to see what resonates, but nothing matches yet. Now, I really want to cry while I'm masturbating. Whatever it is, it must be very repressed.

It's a beautiful, rainy morning. I'm going to the gym to run soon.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga

This is my journal entry about my orgasmic yoga experience on Wednesday 2/15/12.

I had the most amazing orgasmic yoga session this morning. My intention was to pay attention to my feelings – not the physical sensations, but the emotions. Most of the time, I wasn't really noticing my emotions, but I affirmed that I was having feelings even if I couldn't identify them.

I don't know if that's what caused my experience or not, but I had read somewhere that orgasms had more of an emotional component than ejaculation. Anyway, I was able to take myself to the place of my face taking on the orgasmic flush feeling. I really was having deeper emotions tied to it. The keys I think involved not going down the ejaculation train and staying on the pleasure train.

During my typical masturbation patterns, I reach a point when I stop focusing on pleasure and begin focusing on release – even if I have no intention of ejaculating. It has more to do with muscular contractions on the prostate, although I feel the pre-ejaculatory tingling in my penis that feels so good.

This time I had inserted a finger into my anus and was paying attention to the contraction of my sphincter. I mindfully relaxed my anus as I stroked. I began focusing more on gentle pleasurable touches on my erect cock. I felt more and more pleasure, but stayed off the ejaculation track of pumping and prostate contractions. When I wasn't touching my cock, I was massaging my belly up to my heart. I was feeling more pleasure in my anus . It was the tingling in my anus that was very similar to the feeling in my cock before ejaculating, that I followed and lead me to the pre-orgasmic flush. I emotionally felt pleasure and joy and began to sense that I was either feeling a non-ejaculatory orgasm or was very close to having one. I was moaning and groaning in ecstasy.

I love the flush that I feel as it makes me feel so open to the flow of pleasure in my body. It takes work to get there, but it is freaking amazing. I feel beautiful and amazing. I can finally see how I am hot. I love that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Fisting Part 6: Resources

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

The definitive guide to fisting is Trust: The Hand Book
List Site:


If you can recommend any other quality resources, please comment or contact me.
Part 6: Resources <-- You are here

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Fisting Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

You could spend years experiencing and giving exquisite pleasure just by playing with the anus, prostate and rectum. That may be perfect and it can be an end in itself. But some of us have hungry holes that want to experience the “impossible.” Do not be alarmed at seeing small amounts of blood. There are capillaries that are very close to the surface of the rectal lining. you could also see blood during your first fuck. If you encounter lots of blood, get medical attention immediately.

There are two areas of focus during handballing - width and depth. When you're first starting, the focus is on width. Over time, your anus is stretched wider and wider until eventually a hand can pass inside the body. At first, your hand is not in the shape of a fist. Instead, you collapse the width as much as possible by folding over your thumb toward your pinky with your fingers extended.

Breathe deeply to help encourage your body and anus to relax. The sensation is very intense the first time a hand goes inside you. It feels impossible as that last millimeter passes the knuckles and the hand slips in. You immediately have an instinctive urge to expel it. You've traded the sensation of stretching sphincters for an overwhelming fulness. Your rectum reflexively spasms trying to expel the intruder. Instead, breathe. Breathe deeply and focus your will on relaxing your gut muscles. You keep breathing until you relax. The top shouldn't move until you have mastered this reflex and are able to relax. In the end, you may need to expel the hand, but you'll probably want to try again.

Once inside, every movement is intensely sensational. The top can rock his hand forward and back within the rectum. He can twist his hand slowly. He can curl his hand into a fist and rock back and forth again. You can spread your fingers, curl them. You can pull your hand out and go back in again. Over time, you can actually push in while making a fist.

Going for width means you want larger and larger hands, two hands, and toys to play with, but there is an alternative - going for depth. You can actually find the sphincter leading to the colon from the rectum. Pay close attention here and be very carefully. Usually there is enough sensation that you won't be able to exert enough pressure to do damage without first causing pain, but the bottom still needs to pay close attention to his experience for safety. Drugs are dangerous because they can make you want more than your body can take. Play safe. It takes regular play to widen the opening to the colon and to stretch the colon wide enough to take a hand. I've seen experienced players swallow a forearm, but it takes time and regular play.

Between playing with width and depth, there are endless pleasurable experiences to be had. For some, this is a spiritual experience. You are deeply and intensely connected. You can feel your partner's heartbeat as his ass squeezes your hand tightly. This is not a violent act. It is intensely loving. It takes deep trust. It requires overcoming physical limitations and challenges and it is deeply relaxing. After taking a hand, you will be extremely relaxed even as your ass is tender with the memory of its experience, and you will be high on endorphins.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Fisting Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

Now that you've done all this preparation - spending hours douching in the bathroom, mixing up the JLube, getting the underpads, setting up the space - anticipation has built up. You want to finally slam that fist up that butt, but that won't be very effective.

You've reached the point of playing with your butt. No matter what you've seen in the movies, this calls for patience. If you're never had a hand in your butt,you may not make it this time, either. There are some non-material things that have to be mastered.

First, you need to trust the person you're playing with. The one being fisted is 100% in charge. Stop means stop. Both need to agree the receiver calls all the shots. The giver is there only to serve, to pay close attention to what gives pleasure and avoiding causing any harm.

Second, you need to completely and utterly relax. You've cleaned yourself out, so now you can completely relax your anus, bear down, or whatever you feel guided to do in complete confidence.

I suggest that the top begin by massaging the bottom to get those endorphins flowing. The bottom's mind may be willing while his body resists. You must earn the body's trust and beginning with a relaxing massage is a great way to start. Include the butt in your massage. Work the cheek muscles. Run your hand down the crack. Maybe massage for ten or fifteen minutes or more.

Then move on to the asshole. Get the bottom in position on his back, on his knees, in the sling... Move into position and savor the sight of that beautiful pucker that you want to explore. Begin with light touch. Playfully explore. Don't penetrate right away. Diddle with that pucker. Tickle it. Take your time and make your bottom groan with anticipation. Find out what gives pleasure.

Then begin with penetration. One finger. Rotate it. Gently probe. Use plenty of lube. If you're playing with a man, find his prostate. Use only light touch on the prostate. A little goes a long way. After some time, try two fingers. Try one finger on each h and. Gently stretch the hole open with those two fingers. Playfully explore.

Use as many fingers as the bottom wants. Explore his butt. Reach into his rectum with your fingers. Watch his eyes as you do something new. Recognize pleasure or discomfort and adjust accordingly.

This is probably most important. Watch his eyes. Absorb the expression on his face. This is an extremely intimate act. Connect with him completely. Feel what he feels. Let your heart soften as you recognize the precious gift he is offering by allowing you to enter him so completely.

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play <-- You are here

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Fisting Part 3: Supplies

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

Once you've figured out what lube you want to use and cleaned yourself out, you're still not ready to begin playing. You need some more supplies.

What kind of surface are you going to use when fisting? You can do it on the floor or on the bed. You can put up a sling - even a portable one.

Make sure to have paper towels and a trash can available. This will let you wipe the lube off your hands and butt. Try to find a way so that you can pull off some sheets while leaving the roll in place. If your in a sling, you can run a chain horizontally through the roll of towels so you can grab some with one hand. Flatten the tube so that it doesn't freely unroll once you have the towels you need.

Buy some changing underpads. These are padded waterproof sheets used for diaper changing. Put the absorbent side up beneath the butt being fisted to catch lube and fluids. This will keep your floor/bed/sling clean.

You'll want your fingernails short and smooth so that you don't damage the tissues of the bottom. You should avoid fisting if you have any open wounds that could become infected. You can use gloves, but that's a personal choice. You can go with latex or nitrile gloves. Some people are allergic to latex.

Once you've got your surfaces, paper towels, underpads, gloves and lube, you're ready to start playing. More on that next time.

Part 3: Supplies <-- You are here

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Fisting Part 2: Hygiene

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

If you want to be fisted, it's a common courtesy to clean yourself up ahead of time. I'm referring to an enema, although it's common to hear it called douching. If your taking someone's hand inside your body, you are turning your rectum into a sex channel, so clear out any unwanted obstructions ahead of time.

The depth of your douche depends on the circumstances and the type of play you want. If someone is waiting in the next room, do not take a deep enema. It could take hours to do a deep cleaning. Instead take a couple of cups of water at a time without bending over. In this case, you just want to avoid any unpleasant surprises. Cleaning the rectum is sufficient for shallow play.

If you expect to go for depth or want greater peace of mind, spend a few hours to clean up. Use a water bottle style enema, bend over or lay on your left side to allow the water to flow deep. Evacuate the water. Wait and repeat until the water consistently flows clear. Take a longer break and repeat the process. Stay near the bathroom so you don't have an accident. If you feel daring, involve a partner in your preparation. This is an especially intimate act that can increase the level of trust during the main event of fisting.

After cleanings, have some yogurt with active cultures to replace your supply of good bacteria needed for digestion. Active cultures are key.

Consider increasing your fiber a few days before cleaning out. It will make it much easier and more effective.

Part 2: Hygiene <-- You are here

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Fisting Part 1: Lubrication

 WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

This is the first in a series of blog entries regarding fisting.

I'm familiar with two main lubricants: JLube and Crisco. It's also possible to use other lubricants like something silicon based, but JLube and Crisco are generally preferred.

Crisco stays slick, is thick, and does not dry out.

JLube is a lubricant used by vets and is water based. Since it is water based, it tends to dry out. Having a spray bottle nearby can help revive it as needed and also serves to cool irritated anuses.

Some folks have recipes for combining JLube and Crisco. Some put little pats of it in the freezer ahead of time. That makes it easier to push further past the rectum and up the large intestine. It also cools irritated tissues.

I think it's best to choose one lubricant before you begin and stick with it throughout the session, however it's also good to try out different lubes to see what works for you.

Part 1: Lubrication <-- You are here

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Leadership Photos

I went to a leadership retreat last weekend (January 13, 14 and 15 2012). I wanted to share some fun photos:

Monday, January 2, 2012

"I'm only doing this because I love you"

I've got a new blog post at The Rex Harley Experience:  A New Tool for the New year

During this morning's orgasmic yoga, I found that I wanted to hear that as I was being spanked. I had some strong emotional feelings as I was spanking myself this morning. Spanking myself felt so good an I noticed how happy it made me feel.

When you hear stories told of being spanked when growing up, you hear the spanker saying he's only doing it because he loves you. I was scared of being spanked as a child. My father was very volatile emotionally, but after a certain age, I stopped getting loving messages from him as they were replaced by messages of disappointment. Now, I want to be spanked and to be told that it's for my own good and that he's only doing it because he loves me. I want to be loved hard.

I keep myself under tight emotional control. There are times when I am feeling something strongly and I hold it back and hide it. My father always seemed so angry that I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be in control of my emotion - like Spock on Star Trek, the opposite of my father. As a result, I lack some passion in my life.

I hope that I can begin to express my emotions more freely. Maybe part of the process will be exploring my feelings as I am being spanked out of love.

What erotic experiences might you explore to release past emotional blocks?

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.