During this morning's orgasmic yoga, I found that I wanted to hear that as I was being spanked. I had some strong emotional feelings as I was spanking myself this morning. Spanking myself felt so good an I noticed how happy it made me feel.
When you hear stories told of being spanked when growing up, you hear the spanker saying he's only doing it because he loves you. I was scared of being spanked as a child. My father was very volatile emotionally, but after a certain age, I stopped getting loving messages from him as they were replaced by messages of disappointment. Now, I want to be spanked and to be told that it's for my own good and that he's only doing it because he loves me. I want to be loved hard.
I keep myself under tight emotional control. There are times when I am feeling something strongly and I hold it back and hide it. My father always seemed so angry that I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be in control of my emotion - like Spock on Star Trek, the opposite of my father. As a result, I lack some passion in my life.
I hope that I can begin to express my emotions more freely. Maybe part of the process will be exploring my feelings as I am being spanked out of love.
What erotic experiences might you explore to release past emotional blocks?
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