I woke up early this morning and did my orgasmic yoga practice. I was mostly sitting down and lying back. I didn't really include lots of movement. I let my body guide me in offering it pleasure, beginning with my inner thighs. I was continuously stimulating my penis for nearly two hours. I could have gone longer. I'm getting better at finding deep levels of pleasure without the risks of edging.
At one point, I oiled up my feet. I enjoy the primal feeling I get from my feet, but I'm still uptight sharing that pleasure with others. I'm thinking about making feet a more central aspect of my practice – maybe incorporating them in my logo. My toes remind me of my ape ancestry. Sometimes I get in touch with that as they curl when I'm feeling erotic pleasure. I consider feet to be sacred. After oiling them up and rubbing them for a while, I licked the oil off the bottom of my right foot – leaving me with lubed lips.
I also explored the scent and taste of my armpits. I showered last night, so it was subtle which was ideal. I can't deal with overpowering pits, but I don't like them smelling soapy or perfumed, either.
I've also been trying to explore the feeling of wanting to cry that comes up sometimes when I'm masturbating. It doesn't feel like tears of joy, but I can't surrender enough to the feeling to actually tear up or name it. I try different thoughts to see what resonates, but nothing matches yet. Now, I really want to cry while I'm masturbating. Whatever it is, it must be very repressed.
It's a beautiful, rainy morning. I'm going to the gym to run soon.
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