12/19/2010 - Sunday - Session 39
Today's orgasmic yoga practice went longer than planned. Instead of trance dancing or erotic self massage, I mounted a fleshlight on a stand and used it to feel pleasure. I tried to consciously fuck the fleshlight.
The fleshlight is one of my favorite toys. Mounting it allowed me to rock my hips in a way that satisfied the sexual top in me. It left both of my hands free to touch other parts of my body and spread the erotic energy.
After my big draw, I wasn't satisfied. As I continued stimulating myself, I tried for some orgasmic implosions to produce some semen. I also used the aneros stimulator to practice my anal control I became more aroused and continued my erotic play for another hour or so. I pulled out a condom and put it over the head of my vibrator and inserted it in my anus. I jazzed on that for a long time.
When I was done with that, I stimulated some semen out of myself. I smelled it and tasted it. Then I went back to the fleshlight. I practiced for a while longer feeling the stimulation and avoiding ejaculation, slapping on my chest and spreading the energy. I knew I needed to stop or I would ejaculate, but I didn't know how to bring things to a close.
Eventually, I was able to tear myself away from the fleshlight and go into another big draw. I can see that allowing myself to breath and move more leading up to my big draw will help the energy go farther.
12/20/2010 - Monday - Session 40
For today's orgasmic yoga practice, I'm releasing the idea of alternating erotic trance dancing and erotic self massage. Now, I will appeal to that part of myself that knows what I need. I did, however, do erotic trance dancing.
I decided to wear my purple dress again. At one point, I put one foot on the dresser - which was difficult in heals. This accentuated my calf and exposed my genitals for play. This encouraged me to massage my penis through my dress as I danced. I'm also getting more practice at standing and dancing while wearing heals. Feeling my nipples through the fabric of my dress feels great. Then I took off my dress and kept dancing in my heals and touching my body.
The time for my big draw came and I laid back and built my breathing and movement. I left the heals on. I remembered to bring in my hip movement with my breathing. I was feeling erotic pleasure with my big draw.
I laid back and relaxed and caught my breath. I did the vibration I do to get some semen. It tasted good, but I wanted more. There's something special about this process - whether it's really orgasmic implosion or not. There's a sense of opening in the perineum as the muscles slowly contract and push out the semen. I tried it again. I felt the opening again, but no semen came out. I picked up my breathing and hip movement. I tried to feel the opening and contraction. I focused my attention and felt the contraction and focused on sustaining it.
There was so much pleasure - like a long and continuous ejaculation without ejaculating. I felt like I was cumming, but I didn't. I get to this point by pressing above my penis and below the bone above it. When the sensation begins, I now feel around the root of my penis - pressing in and around. It kept that pre-ejaculation feeling going and feels fucking fantastic.
12/21/2010 - Tuesday - Session 41
I chose to do erotic self massage today. After my heart pleasuring, I sat down on the chaise and faced South. I laid back, oiled myself up, put on my blindfold and began the massage. It seemed easier to focus on the sensation while wearing my blindfold and I became erect quickly.
I did conscious breathing and I moved my hips and rubbed my oiled penis and my oiled chest and nipples. I like touching the area between my penis and thighs - where things come together - each side joining at the perineum. Several times, I was able to quickly rub my penis and stimulate the pre-orgasmic tingling, before my body had a chance to ejaculate.
I was very wild by the time the big draw came. I felt myself begin to ejaculate as I stimulated myself during the big draw. I clenched as tight as I could and pounded my chest. I didn't stop the ejaculation, but it didn't seem to be as intense as I clenched. After resting a bit, it seemed that my arousal had not been depleted. I could go again, and I nearly did. This was very productive. Keep practicing these kegels!!
12/22/2010 - Wednesday - Session 42
After my heart pleasuring kegels, I started with trance dancing. My intention was being consciously aware of God's presence in my life.
I decided to use the aneros while I danced. It takes concentration for me to hold it in by constricting my sphincter. Sometimes I was bent over. When I stood up, I need to push it back in from time to time. I stood upright and held my legs together to hold it in. I touched my nipples and sides. I rubbed oil on my penis. That made my anal muscles contract. I enjoyed the tingling. I got on my knees with my ass in the air. Now I could touch my body without worrying about the aneros slipping out. I touched my lower back and tail bone. I rubbed my nipples and sides. Again, I focused on the sensations as I experience more pleasure than normally possible.
I did my big draw.
After resting, I decided to have a little semen. I rubbed that spot that I like. I felt my perineum open. This time, something unexpected happened. I touched my perineum and a spurt of semen came out. Suddenly a small jet landed in my hand. How cool! It smelled and tasted great. I enjoyed savoring it. I'll explore that reflex more in the future.
12/23/2010 - Thursday - Session 43
I forgot to set an intention for today's orgasmic yoga. I left it open ended and unplanned. I spent the first five minutes with heart pleasuring kegels. Then I did some movement and touching. I moved to my knees and bent over. After a few minutes, I mounted the fleshlight. It was very stimulating, so I was breathing deeply. I realized I wasn't touching the rest of my body, so I began slapping my chest, sides and ass. Then I was able to do more movement with the fleshlight without ejaculating.
I was moving and breathing when it came time for the big draw. I laid back on the floor and built up my breathing and movement. I was rocking onto my back and forward, almost so that I could stand up, all while stimulating my penis. I took my three, noise making breaths as I clenched for the big draw.
When I couldn't clench anymore, I laid back and relaxes. I did a fairly good job of avoiding extraneous thought during the session. I thought about tonight's 3 circle ritual
I tried to duplicate yesterday by trying to produce some semen and make one spurt of it. I wasn't paying attention and ejaculated. I'm not judging, just learning.
I had an excellent experience at the three circle ritual. I tried to focus on my own experience to start. I tried to avoid focusing on an erection. At first, it felt like I was being drained of erotic energy. I couldn't get it to flow.
I continued to do soft cock massage. I eventually stepped into the inner circle when I felt aroused enough. I began working with another man. In a couple of minutes, something happened. I looked around and saw all of these naked men. Many of them were erect, giving themselves pleasure, or sharing pleasure with other men. I can't explain. It's like I saw them for the first time, like I was suddenly present. I felt an opening, a simple erotic joy. It felt like waking up and realizing the dream was real. It was so hot!
I was able to ride that new awareness for the rest of the time. Anytime the energy felt it was dropping, I thought about being surrounded by hard naked men. I shared my energy and gave and received and mirrored it. I would call it an awareness. I was aware of the nakedness and erotic power and purity. I want more of that.
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