I did erotic self massage for my orgasmic yoga today. My intention was to experience myself as love.
Most of the time, I was sitting and watching myself in the mirror. I enjoyed taking myself close to ejaculation and sending that healing pleasure out to the world.
When it was time for the big draw, I fist stood up and kept bringing myself to the edge as I pushed that energy out. I was able to push out some semen - I think it's called orgasmic implosion when that happens. Then I went into the big draw.
After resting, I fiddled with myself and unintentionally ejaculated. I didn't think I would since I was trying to be careful, but I wasn't as conscious as I was relaxing. At some point, I will learn to stop once I am satisfied.
12/08/2010 - Wednesday - Session 28
I did erotic trance dancing for my orgasmic yoga today. My intention was “I Am centered in the eternal present moment.”
I used an ace bandage as a cock ring. I found it very arousing to direct the erotic energy out into the world. I don't think I've experienced quiet that feeling before. Usually when people say “Fuck the world,” they mean it disparagingly - but if fucking is an act of love, then it gets very hot.
I tried to ramp up the sensation with some light pain by using first clothespins and then nipple clamps. When I began using the nipple clamps, I put on the blindfold to fully experience the sensations without any distractions.
At one point, I lost the erotic feeling, but not the erection. I think that means that I can slow down sometimes and stop trying to force the flow. My purpose with this practice is to learn how to get the erotic energy flowing of its own accord without my trying to force it.
I used pain during my big draw. I pulled on the nipple clamps during my last three big breaths. I took the clamps off as I began to clench. I'm not sure how it affected my experience when I relaxed. After releasing, I pulled a pillow over my face. I then experienced an emotion I can't put my finger on yet. It wasn't physical, but I felt something that made me want to groan with pleasure and release. Maybe it was an emotional orgasm.
12/09/2010 - Thursday - Session 29
Today, I did erotic self massage and my intention was to be more consciously aware of God's presence since life has been difficult to manage lately.
I was able to focus on experiencing the pleasure in my penis and avoid ejaculation. There's that electric feeling you get in your dick as you get closer to cumming. It's pure pleasure. Small movements can make for strong sensations. By focusing on my breathing consciously, I was able to keep stimulating those sensations without ejaculating. Breathing and consciously relaxing the perineum, I took more pleasure than would normally be possible.
I was highly energized going into my big draw. I didn't have any big revelations. I just tried to relax and let my mind be clear.
After resting, I pressed in and vibrated on the area just above my penis and below the bone that's there. That let me push out some delicious and sacred semen. I stopped after that. Yay!
I did my first communal orgasmic yoga practice tonight. It was a 3 circle ritual. I was with a small group of men. I would like to make this a regular part of my spiritual practice.
I have been very skilled at raising my energy in my solo practice, but the erotic energy felt impeded in the group. It was more difficult for me to allow the energy to flow. I think the other men were distracting me. When I go back, I will stay in the awakening circle longer. I only want to enter the fire circle when my erotic energy is flowing strongly and is sustainable.
12/10/2010 - Friday - Session 30
This morning's orgasmic yoga was erotic trance dancing. My intention was healing.
To begin, I again worked with heart pleasuring kegels and pelvic rocking. I tried to continue with the kegels as I danced. Lately I've been having difficulty experiencing without thinking. I keep palling back into believing that an erection leads the arousal, rather than the other way around. I keep thinking I need to get that erection so that I can feel the pleasure that feeds my arousal. Or that I need to think the right erotically charged fantasy thought. But the erotic energy comes from a deeper place. Any thoughts - even one's that you think would force the energy to rise - can impede the flow.
Today was my thirtieth session, but I intend to continue using this tool for my spiritual growth. To celebrate this milestone, after my big draw, I folded my penis behind my thighs and used a vibrator that I was squeezing between my thighs to stimulate myself to ejaculation. Since I was aroused and I haven't ejaculated in a while, I didn't take very long to shoot. I tried hard to last as long as I could with conscious breathing and conscious relaxation - but it was still over very quickly. It was nice to have an intentional ejaculation to mark this milestone.
12/11/2010 - Saturday - Session 31
Today I did erotic self massage. My intention was the affirmation “I Am Love.”
I had some difficulty getting my juices flowing today. My breathing was good, but I reached a point where I didn't feel aroused. I didn't put a time limit on today's session. I was hoping to spend the whole time on edge, feeling the waves of pleasure. Avoiding expectation is probably a good idea for orgasmic yoga.
Once I gave up and surrendered, I started feeling more aroused. I was able to take myself closer to the edge and feel that tingling sensation that comes before orgasm. I was able to avoid ejaculating today.
12/12/2010 - Sunday - Session 32
Today, I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was an affirmation from church, “I surrender to God to be an instrument of love and healing.” This affirmation seemed hand crafted for me.
I wore my purple dress with my purple heals. I opened myself to allow my divine feminine to dance and touch. It was fun play. I let my cock and balls hang outside of the pantyhose to rub against the soft fabric of the dress. I pulled the dress off and rocked my hips to rub my penis against the pillows. I left the heals on almost the whole time.
When time came for my big draw, everything came off as I laid on the massage table. I focused my energy on an upcoming rendezvous with my partner. I would like to lay him on this massage table and let him be God for a while, as I use my body temple to love him.
Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.