Bubba

I'm bigger than I remember. I think my perception of myself is changing. I am a man. My body smells masculine. I'm an adult male, full sized and attractive.

I am both masculine and feminine. I like my hairy body and my dick that gives me so much pleasure. I like my anus and prostate and love taking others within me. I like being authentically nude. I like the comfort and colors of a dress. I like wearing a kilt and letting my genitals hang freely.

Bubba is pure innocence and authenticity. He is true to his feelings, and expresses himself freely - even if it's considered inappropriate in modern society. Bubba is love. Bubba knows no shame.

I've seen a trend as I explore my orgasmic yoga practice that's related. I've played with infantilism - curling up on my back in a fetal position, sucking my thumb. As I play in the temple, I often feel like a child playing in his playroom. This is my eternal erotic playroom where I am king, where I am Rex.

Orgasmic Yoga Session

There was something different about yesterday's orgasmic yoga. I wanted to be fully in the present moment, but I didn't feel it.

I began with an intention, "I forget myself today as I surrender to the flow of life." Then as I was masturbating and moving and feeling the energy, I looked over and saw the "I Am" map that I made for the 4T class. I saw a phrase that I had forgot to put on the first version, "I Am free." I began using that phrase, repeating it as I focused on my heart and the physical sensations. In freedom, I tried to touch every part of my body that I could think of. I rubbed oil on my feet and calves and thighs. I kissed my toes. I held myself near ejaculation and told myself to relax and let the energy flow. I touched my anus and crack with my hand and remembered how I used to cause myself deep rectal contractions when I played - years ago. I would push the piss out of myself as I played. I recognized that I was seeking another level of consciousness and began focusing on the present moment, and I didn't feel present.

I acknowledged that I don't usually feel present. I often feel separate from myself. I don't feel real to myself. In my altered state, I was able to admit that I don't feel present. My experience of the world is often being filtered through my thoughts. My head separates me from what feels real - even as I was having sex with myself. My goal is to be awake and present.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

My Orgasmic Yoga Practice

Here are play by play details of past orgasmic yoga sessions.

I have a daily orgasmic yoga practice that lasts between 40 to 60 minutes. If you would like to join me as a participant or an observer, please drop me an email: rex@rexharley.com. I live near Burnet and Research. I typically practice at 6:45 AM weekdays, 9 AM on Saturdays and 1 PM Sundays. Click here to see my calendar indicating when I might be available.

Please remove your shoes before entering the temple.


This is the structure of my orgasmic yoga sessions.

Opening
    I begin by reading my "personal statement," my mission statement and my vision statement
    Next I'll state an intention
    Then you can say whatever you like as part of your ritual opening
    I'll set a timer for 20 minutes
I'll do about 5 minutes of heart pleasure kegels (see below)
I'll probably do erotic trance dancing and/or self erotic massage (see below)
When the timer goes off, I like to work up to a big draw
After the big draw, we'll take a few minutes to be quiet and reflect
Then we can bring things to a close

Heart Pleasuring:

The masturbator should clench the pelvic floor muscles with each breath, visualizing the heart pulling erotic energy up from the genitals.


Erotic Trance Dancing:

Erotic Trance Dancing involves moving to music as your caress yourself into a highly aroused, erotically embodied state.


Self Erotic Massage:

Orgasmic Yoga meditations involve an enduring state of sexual arousal that is maintained with relatively little stimulation.

The mindful, highly aroused, and easily maintained erotic trance states discussed here are consciously created by touching ourselves, by moving, and by placing our attention on the pulsating interior life of our bodies.

Here your placement of attention is focused on your self-touch, on your breathing, on your movement, and on the feelings of aliveness and pleasure within your body in the present movement.

We recommend constant self-touch. While one hand stimulates the genitals, the other hand caresses, vibrates and kneads other parts of your body. Your placement of attention is both on your feelings of being touched and on the experience of giving touch. Repeating various self-touch strokes ten, twenty or more times allows for your awareness to focus on and savor what is being experienced within.

Tattoo

I'm looking for a couple of tattoos. If anyone can recommend someone in Austin who can do this work, please drop me a line at rex@rexhalrey.com.

I'm looking for a biohazard symbol just above and resting on the base of my penis.

Modified from image found a http://www.tattoosymbol.com/symbols/biohazard-tattoo.html

I'm also looking for a serpent tattoo, preferably one with eyes wide open.

Image from http://www.tattoodesign.co.uk/snakes/

Image from http://www.cooltribaltattoo.com/snake-tribal-tattoo-designs

Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 39 through 43

12/19/2010 - Sunday - Session 39

Today's orgasmic yoga practice went longer than planned. Instead of trance dancing or erotic self massage, I mounted a fleshlight on a stand and used it to feel pleasure. I tried to consciously fuck the fleshlight.

The fleshlight is one of my favorite toys. Mounting it allowed me to rock my hips in a way that satisfied the sexual top in me. It left both of my hands free to touch other parts of my body and spread the erotic energy.

After my big draw, I wasn't satisfied. As I continued stimulating myself, I tried for some orgasmic implosions to produce some semen. I also used the aneros stimulator to practice my anal control I became more aroused and continued my erotic play for another hour or so. I pulled out a condom and put it over the head of my vibrator and inserted it in my anus. I jazzed on that for a long time.

When I was done with that, I stimulated some semen out of myself. I smelled it and tasted it. Then I went back to the fleshlight. I practiced for a while longer feeling the stimulation and avoiding ejaculation, slapping on my chest and spreading the energy. I knew I needed to stop or I would ejaculate, but I didn't know how to bring things to a close.

Eventually, I was able to tear myself away from the fleshlight and go into another big draw. I can see that allowing myself to breath and move more leading up to my big draw will help the energy go farther.

12/20/2010 - Monday - Session 40

For today's orgasmic yoga practice, I'm releasing the idea of alternating erotic trance dancing and erotic self massage. Now, I will appeal to that part of myself that knows what I need. I did, however, do erotic trance dancing.

I decided to wear my purple dress again. At one point, I put one foot on the dresser - which was difficult in heals. This accentuated my calf and exposed my genitals for play. This encouraged me to massage my penis through my dress as I danced. I'm also getting more practice at standing and dancing while wearing heals. Feeling my nipples through the fabric of my dress feels great. Then I took off my dress and kept dancing in my heals and touching my body.

The time for my big draw came and I laid back and built my breathing and movement. I left the heals on. I remembered to bring in my hip movement with my breathing. I was feeling erotic pleasure with my big draw.

I laid back and relaxed and caught my breath. I did the vibration I do to get some semen. It tasted good, but I wanted more. There's something special about this process - whether it's really orgasmic implosion or not. There's a sense of opening in the perineum as the muscles slowly contract and push out the semen. I tried it again. I felt the opening again, but no semen came out. I picked up my breathing and hip movement. I tried to feel the opening and contraction. I focused my attention and felt the contraction and focused on sustaining it.

There was so much pleasure - like a long and continuous ejaculation without ejaculating. I felt like I was cumming, but I didn't. I get to this point by pressing above my penis and below the bone above it. When the sensation begins, I now feel around the root of my penis - pressing in and around. It kept that pre-ejaculation feeling going and feels fucking fantastic.

12/21/2010 - Tuesday - Session 41

I chose to do erotic self massage today. After my heart pleasuring, I sat down on the chaise and faced South. I laid back, oiled myself up, put on my blindfold and began the massage. It seemed easier to focus on the sensation while wearing my blindfold and I became erect quickly.

I did conscious breathing and I moved my hips and rubbed my oiled penis and my oiled chest and nipples. I like touching the area between my penis and thighs - where things come together - each side joining at the perineum. Several times, I was able to quickly rub my penis and stimulate the pre-orgasmic tingling, before my body had a chance to ejaculate.

I was very wild by the time the big draw came. I felt myself begin to ejaculate as I stimulated myself during the big draw. I clenched as tight as I could and pounded my chest. I didn't stop the ejaculation, but it didn't seem to be as intense as I clenched. After resting a bit, it seemed that my arousal had not been depleted. I could go again, and I nearly did. This was very productive. Keep practicing these kegels!!

12/22/2010 - Wednesday - Session 42

After my heart pleasuring kegels, I started with trance dancing. My intention was being consciously aware of God's presence in my life.

I decided to use the aneros while I danced. It takes concentration for me to hold it in by constricting my sphincter. Sometimes I was bent over. When I stood up, I need to push it back in from time to time. I stood upright and held my legs together to hold it in. I touched my nipples and sides. I rubbed oil on my penis. That made my anal muscles contract. I enjoyed the tingling. I got on my knees with my ass in the air. Now I could touch my body without worrying about the aneros slipping out. I touched my lower back and tail bone. I rubbed my nipples and sides. Again, I focused on the sensations as I experience more pleasure than normally possible.

I did my big draw.

After resting, I decided to have a little semen. I rubbed that spot that I like. I felt my perineum open. This time, something unexpected happened. I touched my perineum and a spurt of semen came out. Suddenly a small jet landed in my hand. How cool! It smelled and tasted great. I enjoyed savoring it. I'll explore that reflex more in the future.

12/23/2010 - Thursday - Session 43

I forgot to set an intention for today's orgasmic yoga. I left it open ended and unplanned. I spent the first five minutes with heart pleasuring kegels. Then I did some movement and touching. I moved to my knees and bent over. After a few minutes, I mounted the fleshlight. It was very stimulating, so I was breathing deeply. I realized I wasn't touching the rest of my body, so I began slapping my chest, sides and ass. Then I was able to do more movement with the fleshlight without ejaculating.

I was moving and breathing when it came time for the big draw. I laid back on the floor and built up my breathing and movement. I was rocking onto my back and forward, almost so that I could stand up, all while stimulating my penis. I took my three, noise making breaths as I clenched for the big draw.

When I couldn't clench anymore, I laid back and relaxes. I did a fairly good job of avoiding extraneous thought during the session. I thought about tonight's 3 circle ritual

I tried to duplicate yesterday by trying to produce some semen and make one spurt of it. I wasn't paying attention and ejaculated. I'm not judging, just learning.

Session 43.5

I had an excellent experience at the three circle ritual. I tried to focus on my own experience to start. I tried to avoid focusing on an erection. At first, it felt like I was being drained of erotic energy. I couldn't get it to flow.

I continued to do soft cock massage. I eventually stepped into the inner circle when I felt aroused enough. I began working with another man. In a couple of minutes, something happened. I looked around and saw all of these naked men. Many of them were erect, giving themselves pleasure, or sharing pleasure with other men. I can't explain. It's like I saw them for the first time, like I was suddenly present. I felt an opening, a simple erotic joy. It felt like waking up and realizing the dream was real. It was so hot!

I was able to ride that new awareness for the rest of the time. Anytime the energy felt it was dropping, I thought about being surrounded by hard naked men. I shared my energy and gave and received and mirrored it. I would call it an awareness. I was aware of the nakedness and erotic power and purity. I want more of that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic Yoga Practice

I have begun the Yoga of Sex course from the The New School of Erotic Touch. My first assignment was to observe a daily spiritual practice of orgasmic yoga for thirty days. I've been instructed to journal my experiences. Being the exhibitionist I am, I decided to post my journal entries on my adult blog. What is Orgasmic Yoga?

Here's the temple where I practice:

Here's the master index of those experiences:
Session 1 through 13
Session 14: Furniture Jumping
Session 15: Self Love
Session 16: Heart Pleasure
Session 17: Hot Energy
Session 18: Healing Energy
Session 19: Fucking Myself
Session 20: Semen without Ejaculation
Sessions 21 and 22: Healing and Spraying
Sessions 23, 24 and 25
Session 26: Healing the world
Sessions 27 through 32
Sessions 33 through 38
Sessions 39 through 43

Future sessions will appear here:
June 10, 3013: Creative Erotic Energy
March 2, 2012: Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy
February 18, 2012: Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure
February 15, 2012: Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga
January 2, 2012: I'm only doing this because I love you
September 13, 2011: Ejaculation
September 7, 2011: Orgasmic Relaxation
August 30, 2011: "Personal" Lubrication
January 8, 2011: Freedom and Presence


If you would like to join me as a participant or an observer: My Orgasmic Yoga Practice

Orgasmic Yoga Sessions 33 through 38

12/13/2010 - Monday - Session 33

I had a great orgasmic yoga session today. Not very emotional, but very pleasurable. My intention today was healing. I did erotic self massage.

After my heart pleasuring kegels, I laid back on the chaise and began massaging myself with oil. After becoming aroused, I inserted an aneros stimulator in my anus and continued massaging. If you're not familiar, the aneros stimulator is a small plastic device designed to rest against the prostate. It's shape allows it to be moved through anal muscle contractions. Ideally, these contractions can be caused by the stimulation spontaneously, which in turn causes more contractions and stimulation.

Anyway, using this device provided feedback on my level of stimulation. I could more easily feel contractions that warned of a build up to ejaculation. This allowed me to provide stimulation to my penis and not provide so much as to ejaculation When I felt close, I switched to another lighter stimulation and continued. I felt the flush of orgasm again, but I still want more.

I was so pleased with this, that I continued past the limit of my yoga session. I found it to be worth it.

In future sessions, I want to involve my heart and emotions more. I want a greater sensation of love and peace. I want to focus my love on healing the world - beginning with myself.


12/14/2010 - Tuesday - Session 34

Today, I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was to be more aware of my emotions.

I danced and did my breathing. I inserted an aneros stimulator in my anus and gripped it. It was difficult. I'm not sure if it was because my muscles were relaxed, or because my contractions were pushing it out. I enjoyed it.

I'm still having difficulty clearing my midn. It's natural, but I keep thinking and having trouble staying present. I think it will involve more practice.

After my big draw, I thought about my intention. I began saying to msyelf “I surrender” as a mantra. I tried to be aware of my feelings. It came to me, “I dont' know what I'm doing.” Maybe that doesn't sound good, but I loved it. How freeing. There is a truth to it, even though I know many things and have strong skills. At any given moment, I am practicing new behaviors and doing things I've never done before. I've never made a living as a sacred intimate before. I'm laying on the floor in the temple, looking at the walls. I'm on a new path. I don't know what I'm doing. It's OK for me to make mistakes as I move forward. I will find my way.


12/15/2010 - Wednesday - Session 35

I did erotic self massage and my intention was surrender.

The first part of learning to release thoughts is to become aware when they are taking you out of the present moment. I was able to do that today. I used my aneros again. It's an excellent tool for releasing pleasure from the anus and rectum. I felt somewhat orgasmic several times and enjoyed manipulating the stimulation through muscle control.

I felt myself getting tense in my neck and shoulders several times. Then I would try to surrender and relax into the moment.

Eventually I pulled out the vibrator. With the aneros stimulator still in my anus, I vibrated the bone above my penis, and my heart. I was moaning and groaning with pleasure. I noticed I wasn't breathing freely and that I was tense. When I did, I tried to relax and accept the pleasure.

Several times, I felt my penis tingling as it does before ejaculation. I tried to continue the stimulation to keep the tingling going without ejaculating. I was having a wonderful time, but I was tense again and not breathing freely. It's wonderful to abandon yourself to the sensations, but my intention has been to be more conscious and aware. In this way, I can experience continuous sensation (tingling) for a longer time. That, I think, can lead to ejaculation-less orgasms - where I feel flushed and ecstatic.

I put the vibrator between my legs and clenched at it. I was feeling fantastic tingling pre-orgasm feelings. At some point, I began ejaculating - but it was worth it. There were contractions within contractions and the aneros was tickling my anal sphincter.

As I relaxed, I felt happy and fulfilled. It was during this time that I recognized how thinking and forgetting to be conscious (leading to muscle contractions) took me out of the meditative state of awareness. This is my practice for now.


12/16/2010 - Thursday - Session 36

I did erotic trance dancing. My intention was surrender.

I didn't focus as much on getting an erection today. I focused on the sensation of my touch. I kept one hand near my penis and ran my other hand over my body - focusing on pleasure.

The nice thing is that as I was building up to my big draw, I surrendered... to myself. It's another of those “hard to explain” things. I was giving myself pleasure and surrendering to it. I particularly liked the feel of my inner thighs. I smiled as I surrendered to my self-love.

I rewarded myself with a little orgasmic implosion semen.


12/17/2010 - Friday - Session 37

I did erotic self massage today. My intention was to surrender.

I surrendered to my touch. I surrendered to the sensations. I used the aneros again. It really helps me focus on what my kegel muscles are doing. I was able to experience some extremely sustained erotic pleasure.

I also recognized that I do know what I'm doing. I know how to love myself with pleasure. I know how touching more than just my genitals gives me joy. I know how breathing and conscious touch can provide me ecstatic pleasure. All of this when I surrender to my inner wisdom; when I trust that the deeper part of my knows what I need.

I unintentionally ejaculated after my big draw while I was trying to push out some semen. It's always amazing now because I almost always have multiple orgasms during my ejaculation. Very surprising.


12/18/2010 - Saturday - Session 38

I did erotic trance dancing today. Again, my intention was surrender.

I'm more able to arouse the sexual energy when I trust that there's a part of me that knows what it's doing. It seems obvious that I should know what feels good and pleasurable. But that doesn't come through when I'm busy trying to figure out how to get the energy to flow. I have to get myself to stop trying and just listen for the still small voice within that just knows what works.

If you were paying attention, yes, I did just say God was within me. This infinite diving knowledge makes hir: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun) home within us and is available when we slow down and listen. But that's just my opinion.

At one point, I recognized that the body I was pleasuring was God's body. How very sacred to give pleasure to the body of God, the physical manifestation of God. How powerful to be permitted and directed to give pleasure to this body.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.