My First Ejaculation

This is from a journal entry on Saturday October 29, 2011

I have updated my XXX website with some old videos. Hopefully some new videos will be out in the next few months.

During this morning's Orgasmic Yoga practice, at one point I reflected on my first ejaculation. I was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom at my grandmother's house. I had read in a medical encyclopedia or something that masturbation was massage of the genitals. I was using a hand lotion and rubbing my penis like I was giving it a back rub. Nothing spectacular was happening, but it was fun.

Then my hand was wrapped around my dick and I stroked it. For the first time, I felt an electric shiver of pleasure and my cock started getting hard.

I kept stroking and was dumbstruck by the pleasure I was feeling. I had never experienced anything like it and each stroke was ecstasy.

Then the contractions of ejaculation began. Cum was shooting out of my cock for the first time. The powerful contractions were scary at first since they were so alien, but I recognized the white fluid as semen very quickly. I had a big smile on my face as I recognized that I had finally figured out how to jerk of. I could smell the cum. Everything was new. I was scared someone would smell the cum and know what I had done.

No one had told me how to do it. I had never seen any videos. I figured it out on my own. I would have been too embarrassed to ask how my body worked and no one was mature enough in my family to explain it.

At that age, I was not emotionally mature. I knew I would be in trouble if anyone found out I masturbated. As a society, we seem to encourage perpetual immaturity around sex. What if I had been encouraged to explore my body? What if someone had taught me how to give myself pleasure or guided me through my first ejaculation? As it is, my sex life became a separate area – isolated from any human contact. Now I'm trying to be one again. For me, that seems to lie in the direction of making sex a central part of my life and expanding from there. That seems easier than trying to bring sex into the non-sexual or sexually averse areas of life – like work and family. That is the essence of Rex Harley.

How can I encourage a more mature understanding of sex in the broader society? It's time for society to grow up. How do you know when it's the right time to guide a child to his first ejaculation? When he begins trying to understand. If you make it safe to ask about sex, he will ask you when the time is right.

It's not possible to teach sexual responsibility when parents are determined to allow sexual ignorance, so we have more and more unwanted pregnancies. It has to become acceptable for children to ask sexual questions and to be able to give age appropriate answers.

I am a child at play

This is from a journal entry on Saturday 11/5/2011

I'm masturbating as I write this. My cock is hard. I masturbated during my Orgasmic Yoga practice this morning. Now I'm exploring ideas while feeling erotic pleasure.

I think what I teach is sexual innocence. I'm a grown man with a hairy sexy body, but I am still naïve. I am a child at play. My dick feels good as I stroke it. The pleasure rolls across my body. I could cum, but I don't.

How do I teach others the value of play? We take things so seriously. What is the first lesson I will teach?

Maybe I teach like this – touching myself. I feel my heart beat faster. I am excited at the thought. I think people seeing me masturbate might give them permission to join me.

Maybe I should host a masturbate-a-thon, see how long people can last.

I feel my pleasure. There is sensation in the head of my dick. I can feel pressure in my heart. I like to see my thighs and the pubes above my dick. I feel my balls between my legs. I feel heat in my belly. I like the way the pleasure makes my toes curl.

I feel the muscle I use for kegels. It makes me feel like I want to pee. That's part of my pleasure.

I really want to shoot some porn. California. Can that fund my work?

I'm still masturbating 35 minutes after beginning this journal entry. I am motivated to keep working on my Yoga of Sex class – covering masturbation coaching right now. I am really enjoying my dick. My dick.

My dick is a part of me. It usually feels separate, but the pleasure rises to my heart. My dick is an extension of my heart.

I love everybody because everybody is me.

I love being a sexual plaything.

What I Saw

During a recent retreat, we had an assignment to go about the world consciously and make note of the first twelve things we encounter. I posted this to the adult blog because of item eleven. :)

First I saw grass with the seed pod on top - a little brush. Touching it, I caught a web connecting two stalks of grass.

Second, I saw a purple flower - very small - on a bush or tree. Touching it, an ant crawled onto me. I almost blew it off until I chose to let it climb back onto a flower.

Third, I saw a half decayed apple - it smelled sweet and rotting.

Fourth, I noticed the soft dust under the gravel of the drive. It felt wonderful as I dug my toes in.

Fifth, I saw a dragon fly land in the drive. It didn't leave, so I did.

Sixth, I heard the flies in the shade - going who knows where continuously.

Seventh, I heard a rustle overhead and looked up to see a squirrel leaping from branch to branch.

Eighth, I saw three birds glide overhead from one tree to the other. I recognized myself in them.

Then, in a clearing on the drive in the sun overlooking the valley, I pissed down the already golden hillside.

Ninth, I finally took note of the giant redwoods - focusing on one on the way to Julie Andrews Point. I was dwarfed.

Tenth, I saw one of the men’s horses in the pasture. He had been looking for them earlier, but hadn't seen them. Then I saw him watching his horses.

Then I climbed the big tree naked and rested comfortably against the roughness. I massaged the tree with my feet, feeling the soft lichens on the bark, and I smiled. I spit in my hand and gave myself pleasure. The flies came to land on my leg as I worked quietly. I heard the man's horse whinny and the birds in the trees and the bugs and the wind.

Then I saw another who was me. I saw him stroke himself and I felt the pleasure as I mirrored the stroke. I loved seeing him/me pleasuring his/myself. I saw myself in him. I loved the sweetness of his touch on his cock. He deserves the pleasure and it pleases me to see him surrender to it. He's the eleventh self I've seen.

Twelfth, I hear gunshots in the distance and I remember I am a hunter. How can I capture my quarry? But then the hunter captures us and the moment is over. My prey is spooked and has escaped, but I remain - ready to hunt again.

A Flogging Request

I am seeking an encounter with another Sacred Intimate. The following is my request.

My intention is to thoroughly experience sub-space and have my endorphins stimulated. This is my request. It can be adapted to meet your needs as we negotiate. This is an opportunity for you to experience Dom-space as I intend to give my body, mind and heart to you for no more than several hours.

I would like to begin by removing my clothes. I would like you to remain clothed for a while as a symbol of power over me. This will help me establish your power in my mind. As they do in PSI, I would like to be on my knees with my hands behind my back as I rest my head in your crotch. I would like several minutes like this to give myself time to surrender to you and to experience myself submitting thoroughly to your control.

Once that is established. I can either keep my eyes downward or meet your gaze as you see fit. Then I would like to be blindfolded. I would like you to explore my body at this point in any way that you choose. Gentle touch will get my endorphins flowing before the flogging. Then I would like to be positioned to be flogged.

I want you to be comfortable, so be as clothed or not as you like. Don't overheat. Take care of your knees, etc.

I generally like thuddier floggers, but we can explore any kind except single tail. Front or back is fine, chest, back, thighs and butt cheeks are OK. You will need to guide my head back if you work on my chest to avoid hitting my chin.

I would like permission to tell you harder or softer during the first half so that you can become familiar with my limits. Then it would be nice if you could help me stretch those limits. Reassure me and encourage me if I seem uncomfortable. As long as I feel the love in your swings, it will be good. Remind me to surrender and go into the sensation - the pain. Remind me to breathe.

There is a health situation at home. Someone near to my partner is having a difficult time and the future is unknown. I would like to use this experience to explore surrender so that I can carry it into my healing work. I am open to experiencing emotional release as I fall into acceptance of what is through your strokes. I encourage you to use my request as a suggestion only, as the greatest gift you could give to me would be to feel your power thoroughly. Unleash yourself. I can take whatever you see fit to give.

Ejaculation

I let myself ejaculate during yesterday's orgasmic yoga practice. It's hard to maintain the feeling of being in love with yourself. It's easy to fall back into unconsciousness where the only goal is physical pleasure.

Yesterday, I loved myself physically. It was my joy to give myself pleasure. Near the end, I was telling the mirror to "open your heart to me." I realized in that moment that I had the capacity to be in love with myself. I felt that deep desire within my heart to be completely connected with myself. I opened my heart, poured my love out on myself, and ejaculated.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Orgasmic relaxation

This mornings Orgasmic Yoga practice lead directly to the insights in today's blog post: http://blog.rexharley.com/2011/09/living-through-body.html

This morning's Orgasmic Yoga was not broadcast on the web cam. My intention was to relax. I have a lot of tension in my right side - my neck and shoulder. My practice has a slower, less rushed pace. I was intentionally relaxing my neck and shoulder as I rubbed my penis.

There were times when I would become excited - and erotically tense. I would then breathe, slow down, and relax into the sensations. I found myself experiencing more pleasure without tripping over ejaculation.

There's a sensation that I can't describe. It comes up as ejaculation begins, like a pleasurable tingling - deep inside. Today, I felt as though I was able to dip down into that sensation and pull out a handful - allowing my whole body to experience it, but without ejaculating. I will try those relaxation sessions more often.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

"Personal" Lubricant

Yesterday during my Orgasmic Yoga practice, I avoided lube and used the loose skin on my dick in combination with my PA (Prince Albert) to stimulate myself. After fifteen or twenty minutes, I  built up enough pre-cum to use it as lubricant. I love the idea and sensation of masturbating with my own juices. It's so slippery and slick and light, and it's all me.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Aneros Ass Play

The instructions on how to use the aneros that you get when you order it are great and they are worth pursuing in their own right, but I want to describe how to use the aneros if you just don't get how butt ply can feel good.

First, give your butt a light enema to clear away any feces from the rectum. Don't do a deep cleansing unless you want to spend hours in the bathroom. Also stay away from the Fleet's since they have irritating chemicals. I'll post more on cleaning out before play in the future.

Have some silicon lube (I prefer Gun Oil) and some towels nearby for cleanup. Then, get naked and make yourself comfortable. Prop your butt up on a pillow so that when you insert the aneros, it won't be resting on the bed. Also put a pillow under your head for comfort. Apply some lube to your anus. Feel free to be liberal, but avoid getting lube on your perineum (taint) as this would affect how the aneros works. Apply some lube to the aneros. Gently insert it into your anus. When your butt begins to pull it in, stop pushing and let the aneros find it's own resting place. The solid disc will be resting on your perineum.

Now, begin masturbating. Go slow or you will cum fast. Use conscious breathing to accept pleasure without ejaculation for at least a little while. Focus on the sensations of your butt. Your anus will be contracting as you masturbate. This will make the aneros move in and out by itself. Feel it pressing gently against your prostate. Feel the little ribs rubbing against your anal sphincter. This rubbing has the potential to feel as tingly as your cock does when you're getting ready to cum. These two sensations combined with conscious breathing can lead to orgasmic feelings by themselves. You may need to stop stroking your dick to feel the orgasmic sensations coming from your ass. Move your ass. Rock it up and down. Put your legs in the air. Press down with your feet. Every ass movement will enhance the pleasure. Eventually, allow yourself to cum. The aneros will fuck you while you cum, intensifying your pleasure.

I firmly believe that this is a great technique for people who “don't get anal pleasure” to experience what is possible. If you keep at it, you may get the urge to use more toys and find new ways to experience ass pleasure.

Love From Within

I would love it if you each did something for me. Once a week (or more), pleasure yourself in front of a mirror consciously with breath. Do more than jerk off - touch your sides, thighs and chest. Look into your eyes in the mirror. Do this for five minutes or half an hour. Cum if you want or don't cum and hold onto your energy. This will make me very happy.

Doing this is like putting money into an erotic bank account. The more time you generate heat and pleasure, the larger your bank account balance. The less often you make withdrawals by ejaculating, the larger your balance. It can be a little uncomfortable allowing this energy to grow, but the more you do, the more erotically powerful and loving you will be.

At some point, you'll recognize (if you haven't already) that you are doing this because you literally love yourself - and you will laugh. Sometimes when you look into your eyes in the mirror, you will see me looking back at you with love.

Bubba

I'm bigger than I remember. I think my perception of myself is changing. I am a man. My body smells masculine. I'm an adult male, full sized and attractive.

I am both masculine and feminine. I like my hairy body and my dick that gives me so much pleasure. I like my anus and prostate and love taking others within me. I like being authentically nude. I like the comfort and colors of a dress. I like wearing a kilt and letting my genitals hang freely.

Bubba is pure innocence and authenticity. He is true to his feelings, and expresses himself freely - even if it's considered inappropriate in modern society. Bubba is love. Bubba knows no shame.

I've seen a trend as I explore my orgasmic yoga practice that's related. I've played with infantilism - curling up on my back in a fetal position, sucking my thumb. As I play in the temple, I often feel like a child playing in his playroom. This is my eternal erotic playroom where I am king, where I am Rex.

Orgasmic Yoga Session

There was something different about yesterday's orgasmic yoga. I wanted to be fully in the present moment, but I didn't feel it.

I began with an intention, "I forget myself today as I surrender to the flow of life." Then as I was masturbating and moving and feeling the energy, I looked over and saw the "I Am" map that I made for the 4T class. I saw a phrase that I had forgot to put on the first version, "I Am free." I began using that phrase, repeating it as I focused on my heart and the physical sensations. In freedom, I tried to touch every part of my body that I could think of. I rubbed oil on my feet and calves and thighs. I kissed my toes. I held myself near ejaculation and told myself to relax and let the energy flow. I touched my anus and crack with my hand and remembered how I used to cause myself deep rectal contractions when I played - years ago. I would push the piss out of myself as I played. I recognized that I was seeking another level of consciousness and began focusing on the present moment, and I didn't feel present.

I acknowledged that I don't usually feel present. I often feel separate from myself. I don't feel real to myself. In my altered state, I was able to admit that I don't feel present. My experience of the world is often being filtered through my thoughts. My head separates me from what feels real - even as I was having sex with myself. My goal is to be awake and present.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

My Orgasmic Yoga Practice

Here are play by play details of past orgasmic yoga sessions.

I have a daily orgasmic yoga practice that lasts between 40 to 60 minutes. If you would like to join me as a participant or an observer, please drop me an email: rex@rexharley.com. I live near Burnet and Research. I typically practice at 6:45 AM weekdays, 9 AM on Saturdays and 1 PM Sundays. Click here to see my calendar indicating when I might be available.

Please remove your shoes before entering the temple.


This is the structure of my orgasmic yoga sessions.

Opening
    I begin by reading my "personal statement," my mission statement and my vision statement
    Next I'll state an intention
    Then you can say whatever you like as part of your ritual opening
    I'll set a timer for 20 minutes
I'll do about 5 minutes of heart pleasure kegels (see below)
I'll probably do erotic trance dancing and/or self erotic massage (see below)
When the timer goes off, I like to work up to a big draw
After the big draw, we'll take a few minutes to be quiet and reflect
Then we can bring things to a close

Heart Pleasuring:

The masturbator should clench the pelvic floor muscles with each breath, visualizing the heart pulling erotic energy up from the genitals.


Erotic Trance Dancing:

Erotic Trance Dancing involves moving to music as your caress yourself into a highly aroused, erotically embodied state.


Self Erotic Massage:

Orgasmic Yoga meditations involve an enduring state of sexual arousal that is maintained with relatively little stimulation.

The mindful, highly aroused, and easily maintained erotic trance states discussed here are consciously created by touching ourselves, by moving, and by placing our attention on the pulsating interior life of our bodies.

Here your placement of attention is focused on your self-touch, on your breathing, on your movement, and on the feelings of aliveness and pleasure within your body in the present movement.

We recommend constant self-touch. While one hand stimulates the genitals, the other hand caresses, vibrates and kneads other parts of your body. Your placement of attention is both on your feelings of being touched and on the experience of giving touch. Repeating various self-touch strokes ten, twenty or more times allows for your awareness to focus on and savor what is being experienced within.