Bathhouse Fuck!

I went to the bathhouse on Saturday night. I took a pair of my “handcuffs” that I use for the illusion of restraint. I took two bandanas – one for my mouth and one for my eyes.

I began preparing for the evening at home by giving myself a quick flush. Then I climbed into my sling and used the fucking machine to fuck my ass for a while – to get me open and relaxed. I started with a slow speed and tilted my ass so that the rubber cock rubbed my prostate. I loved the feeling of it rubbing my anus as it went in and out. I then shifted so that it could go deeper. After I felt nice and sloppy, I got down on my knees and let the fucking machine fuck my mouth and throat. I wanted to be ready for anything.

When I got to the bathhouse, I got a room on the bottom floor. I stripped naked and used one bandana to gag myself. I turned off the light and opened the door as I blind folded myself and secured my hands behind my back with the handcuffs. I laid down on my belly and waited.

The waiting may be the best part. My mind is active with anticipation and fear. I'm aware of men walking past the room, seeing me bound and waiting to serve. Sometimes I get impatient and have to calm myself.

Then I felt someone touching my back. I hear the door close and a towel drop. A hand turns my head and I feel the head of a cock on my lips, but I need to spit out my gag first. This cock feels thick as it slides past my lips. I do my best to make my mouth a warm moist pleasure giving orifice for the cock that is fucking it.

The fat cock pulls out of my mouth as I feel the man climb on top of me. I feel the cock at my butt hole. He slams it in all at once and I yelp with pain. I try to relax my ass,but I need more time. He doesn't give me the time as he pulls his cock out and slams it in my ass again, making me yelp again. It's taking all of my will to keep myself from trying to pull away. I'm able to get myself to tilt my as so that he can slam it in me again, but I know it's going to hurt. He keeps fucking me that way. It's impossible for me to stay quiet. It still hurts, but becomes more tolerable. I'm incredibly turned on and hot as I'm getting rape fucked.

He comes around and sticks his hot cock covered with my ass juices back in my mouth, but he keeps banging my back teeth. He goes back to raping my ass hole. I can feel my own raging erection between my legs. I feel him dump his load in my ass. That's not what I wanted, but I relished the way it felt as this man used my butt hole to dump his fucking load. I couldn't get myself to want to resist. I've been bad and dangerous, not to mention stupid, reckless and faithful.

He climbed off me and left. I rolled over and started jacking my throbbing thick cock. Someone asked if I was OK, but saw my hard cocked and started rubbing it and sucking it. Fuck! I was in heaven. It's really tough taking a hard raping kind of fuck like that, but I really love it. I can't do it often because it's so demanding. I will do a better job of making it known not to cum in me next time. It seems like that ought to be common knowledge. Cumming in someone should be the exception, not the rule!

That wasn't the only experience that night. Earlier when I was bound and gagged, a man came in and fucked my mouth. It was just the right size and shape to slip down my throat. Once I got rid of my blindfold and handcuffs, someone else came in and sucked my dick. Someone else fucked me. I ended my evening by going to the video room to masturbate. I was up on some elevated seating in clear view of everyone as I began pleasuring myself. That would have been more than enough, but another man came up and sucked my toes before sucking my dick. I didn't tell him that he was scraping my dick with his teeth. In the end, I stuck my feet in his face and encouraged him to eat them. I was getting my feet worshiped as I masturbated, rubbing his face with my feet. I love a man who loves feet as much as I do, and I would not have been sucking toes that had been walking on that floor. Kudos to him!

Unfortunately, when I was leaving, the sheets were a little pink. It's not usually a big deal when there's a little bit of blood when getting fucked, but it wasn't very pleasant.

Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy

This is a journal entry from Friday, March 2, 2012

I did not go to into this morning's orgasmic yoga practice with very much energy. I came last night after fisting myself. But I went ahead and began without knowing what to expect.

After affirming my mission and purpose, I began massaging myself with coconut oil. I rubbed my chest, belly and thighs and let my erotic energy slowly build. I focused on my breathing. I rubbed some oil on my hardening cock, but didn't stimulate it immediately. As I began to include it, I avoided ejaculation producing strokes and focused on pleasure sensations. It was like playing in a meadow of pleasure instead of following a path of pleasurable release. The only difference is the direction of movement.

I found myself feeling much more energetic as I left one hand on my cock - tweaking the pleasure there while my other hand massaged other parts of my body and my breathing intensified. I began thrashing around, enjoying the full experience.

I caught a sense of masculine erotic energy. It's not something I'm usually in touch with and words don't evoke it. It's like cock and balls and pubic hair and musky masculine scent. It feels like my father. I wish I could communicate it, but even experiencing it is fleeting.

I let myself quietly appreciate my experience at the conclusion. It was good.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Sourthern Carribean Cruise 2011

I forgot to post these pictures earlier. Enjoy!

 

Notice the exposed PA

 

 Nice!

 

This is sheer. You can see through if you look closely.

 

 Mostly naked in the main atrium!

 

 

 Smile for the camera!

 

This wouldn't be possible during a mainstream cruise

My Story: Part 2

My Story: Part 1

I was not an exhibitionist growing up - maybe I was before I turned three or four. At some point, I learned to feel shame when I was naked and avoided it like the plague. At some point, I found an adult theater in Washington DC that had a back area with some platforms. I was a horn dog at that time. I ended up sitting on a man's cock one night and it turned into a doggy style fuck on a darkly lit platform above an impromptu audience. I loved it and found that I really liked the other men watching me get fucked. I felt celebrated for doing what I loved to do.

Over the years, I've had sex with many many men and enjoyed almost all of them. I learned so many ways to have sex. Everyone is different, but I tended to follow the lead of the man I was with. I tend to get off on whatever gets my partner off. It's only recently that I've seen that as part of my Sacred Intimate identity. It feels like a gift.

I had toyed with the idea of prostitution when I was in college. I didn't need the money, but thought it would be fun to get paid for something that I enjoyed. I didn't do it. Sometime in the last ten years, I found the term Sacred Intimate. Other terms that mean the same thing are temple whore or temple prostitute. Apparently in some Eastern religions, sex is seen as an avenue to enlightenment. I wonder what my life would be like if I had been able to follow that path.

I started asking how I could become a Sacred Intimate and someone at Body Electric gave me the names of some intensives I could take - Dear Love of Comrades, Healing the Wounded Healer, and Creating Sacred Intimacy. I've found it very healing and someone at my first intensive saw me as a healer. I'm convinced much of the misery in the modern world comes from sexual ignorance and repression. I began a journey to try to join the sexual and the spiritual.

I had a Christian background growing up that spanned from Presbyterian to Baptist. I learned fear there, but I never got how sex was inherently sinful. Sure, I could see bad things like rape the dishonesty of adultery, but sex itself didn't seem bad to me. It felt too good to be bad and I saw that Creator God must have made us able to experience pleasure or we wouldn't.

My spiritual foundation was the twelve step programs of NA and AA where you could have an understanding of God that worked for you. From there I got to Unity which teaches that there is only one presence and power in the universe which is God who is good. God could also be called Higher Power or Divine Consciousness - not a personality but maybe life or love itself. My spirituality is very important to me. Since I am inherently sexual, I needed to find a way to include it in my spirituality.

I think most people don't like the idea of God being present when they have sex. I come from the perspective that God is present everywhere all the time - including in me when I'm taking a fist in the ass. I believe that God experiences his world through me - so if I feel pleasure, so does God. I don't feel I have an existence apart from God. I don't necessarily want to convince other people of my beliefs, but I do want them to find out how to experience pleasure without guilt or shame. I don't think guilt and shame are necessary. Seeing sex as sacred deepens it to unbelievable depths - much more than just getting off.

Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure

I woke up early this morning and did my orgasmic yoga practice. I was mostly sitting down and lying back. I didn't really include lots of movement. I let my body guide me in offering it pleasure, beginning with my inner thighs. I was continuously stimulating my penis for nearly two hours. I could have gone longer. I'm getting better at finding deep levels of pleasure without the risks of edging.

At one point, I oiled up my feet. I enjoy the primal feeling I get from my feet, but I'm still uptight sharing that pleasure with others. I'm thinking about making feet a more central aspect of my practice – maybe incorporating them in my logo. My toes remind me of my ape ancestry. Sometimes I get in touch with that as they curl when I'm feeling erotic pleasure. I consider feet to be sacred. After oiling them up and rubbing them for a while, I licked the oil off the bottom of my right foot – leaving me with lubed lips.

I also explored the scent and taste of my armpits. I showered last night, so it was subtle which was ideal. I can't deal with overpowering pits, but I don't like them smelling soapy or perfumed, either.

I've also been trying to explore the feeling of wanting to cry that comes up sometimes when I'm masturbating. It doesn't feel like tears of joy, but I can't surrender enough to the feeling to actually tear up or name it. I try different thoughts to see what resonates, but nothing matches yet. Now, I really want to cry while I'm masturbating. Whatever it is, it must be very repressed.

It's a beautiful, rainy morning. I'm going to the gym to run soon.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga

This is my journal entry about my orgasmic yoga experience on Wednesday 2/15/12.

I had the most amazing orgasmic yoga session this morning. My intention was to pay attention to my feelings – not the physical sensations, but the emotions. Most of the time, I wasn't really noticing my emotions, but I affirmed that I was having feelings even if I couldn't identify them.

I don't know if that's what caused my experience or not, but I had read somewhere that orgasms had more of an emotional component than ejaculation. Anyway, I was able to take myself to the place of my face taking on the orgasmic flush feeling. I really was having deeper emotions tied to it. The keys I think involved not going down the ejaculation train and staying on the pleasure train.

During my typical masturbation patterns, I reach a point when I stop focusing on pleasure and begin focusing on release – even if I have no intention of ejaculating. It has more to do with muscular contractions on the prostate, although I feel the pre-ejaculatory tingling in my penis that feels so good.

This time I had inserted a finger into my anus and was paying attention to the contraction of my sphincter. I mindfully relaxed my anus as I stroked. I began focusing more on gentle pleasurable touches on my erect cock. I felt more and more pleasure, but stayed off the ejaculation track of pumping and prostate contractions. When I wasn't touching my cock, I was massaging my belly up to my heart. I was feeling more pleasure in my anus . It was the tingling in my anus that was very similar to the feeling in my cock before ejaculating, that I followed and lead me to the pre-orgasmic flush. I emotionally felt pleasure and joy and began to sense that I was either feeling a non-ejaculatory orgasm or was very close to having one. I was moaning and groaning in ecstasy.

I love the flush that I feel as it makes me feel so open to the flow of pleasure in my body. It takes work to get there, but it is freaking amazing. I feel beautiful and amazing. I can finally see how I am hot. I love that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Fisting Part 6: Resources

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.


Books:

The definitive guide to fisting is Trust: The Hand Book

The Divine Androgyne: According to Purusha

List Site:

Handball List Site

Groups:

M.A.F.I.A.

FFA in DC

If you can recommend any other quality resources, please comment or contact me.

Part 1: Lubrication

Part 2: Hygiene

Part 3: Supplies

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep 

Part 6: Resources <-- You are here