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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Fisting Part 2: Hygiene

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

If you want to be fisted, it's a common courtesy to clean yourself up ahead of time. I'm referring to an enema, although it's common to hear it called douching. If your taking someone's hand inside your body, you are turning your rectum into a sex channel, so clear out any unwanted obstructions ahead of time.

The depth of your douche depends on the circumstances and the type of play you want. If someone is waiting in the next room, do not take a deep enema. It could take hours to do a deep cleaning. Instead take a couple of cups of water at a time without bending over. In this case, you just want to avoid any unpleasant surprises. Cleaning the rectum is sufficient for shallow play.

If you expect to go for depth or want greater peace of mind, spend a few hours to clean up. Use a water bottle style enema, bend over or lay on your left side to allow the water to flow deep. Evacuate the water. Wait and repeat until the water consistently flows clear. Take a longer break and repeat the process. Stay near the bathroom so you don't have an accident. If you feel daring, involve a partner in your preparation. This is an especially intimate act that can increase the level of trust during the main event of fisting.

After cleanings, have some yogurt with active cultures to replace your supply of good bacteria needed for digestion. Active cultures are key.

Consider increasing your fiber a few days before cleaning out. It will make it much easier and more effective.

Part 2: Hygiene <-- You are here

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Fisting Part 1: Lubrication

 WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

This is the first in a series of blog entries regarding fisting.

I'm familiar with two main lubricants: JLube and Crisco. It's also possible to use other lubricants like something silicon based, but JLube and Crisco are generally preferred.

Crisco stays slick, is thick, and does not dry out.

JLube is a lubricant used by vets and is water based. Since it is water based, it tends to dry out. Having a spray bottle nearby can help revive it as needed and also serves to cool irritated anuses.

Some folks have recipes for combining JLube and Crisco. Some put little pats of it in the freezer ahead of time. That makes it easier to push further past the rectum and up the large intestine. It also cools irritated tissues.

I think it's best to choose one lubricant before you begin and stick with it throughout the session, however it's also good to try out different lubes to see what works for you.

Part 1: Lubrication <-- You are here

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Leadership Photos

I went to a leadership retreat last weekend (January 13, 14 and 15 2012). I wanted to share some fun photos:


Monday, January 2, 2012

"I'm only doing this because I love you"

I've got a new blog post at The Rex Harley Experience:  A New Tool for the New year

During this morning's orgasmic yoga, I found that I wanted to hear that as I was being spanked. I had some strong emotional feelings as I was spanking myself this morning. Spanking myself felt so good an I noticed how happy it made me feel.

When you hear stories told of being spanked when growing up, you hear the spanker saying he's only doing it because he loves you. I was scared of being spanked as a child. My father was very volatile emotionally, but after a certain age, I stopped getting loving messages from him as they were replaced by messages of disappointment. Now, I want to be spanked and to be told that it's for my own good and that he's only doing it because he loves me. I want to be loved hard.

I keep myself under tight emotional control. There are times when I am feeling something strongly and I hold it back and hide it. My father always seemed so angry that I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be in control of my emotion - like Spock on Star Trek, the opposite of my father. As a result, I lack some passion in my life.

I hope that I can begin to express my emotions more freely. Maybe part of the process will be exploring my feelings as I am being spanked out of love.

What erotic experiences might you explore to release past emotional blocks?

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

My First Ejaculation


This is from a journal entry on Saturday October 29, 2011

I have updated my XXX website with some old videos. Hopefully some new videos will be out in the next few months.

During this morning's Orgasmic Yoga practice, at one point I reflected on my first ejaculation. I was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom at my grandmother's house. I had read in a medical encyclopedia or something that masturbation was massage of the genitals. I was using a hand lotion and rubbing my penis like I was giving it a back rub. Nothing spectacular was happening, but it was fun.

Then my hand was wrapped around my dick and I stroked it. For the first time, I felt an electric shiver of pleasure and my cock started getting hard.

I kept stroking and was dumbstruck by the pleasure I was feeling. I had never experienced anything like it and each stroke was ecstasy.

Then the contractions of ejaculation began. Cum was shooting out of my cock for the first time. The powerful contractions were scary at first since they were so alien, but I recognized the white fluid as semen very quickly. I had a big smile on my face as I recognized that I had finally figured out how to jerk of. I could smell the cum. Everything was new. I was scared someone would smell the cum and know what I had done.

No one had told me how to do it. I had never seen any videos. I figured it out on my own. I would have been too embarrassed to ask how my body worked and no one was mature enough in my family to explain it.

At that age, I was not emotionally mature. I knew I would be in trouble if anyone found out I masturbated. As a society, we seem to encourage perpetual immaturity around sex. What if I had been encouraged to explore my body? What if someone had taught me how to give myself pleasure or guided me through my first ejaculation? As it is, my sex life became a separate area – isolated from any human contact. Now I'm trying to be one again. For me, that seems to lie in the direction of making sex a central part of my life and expanding from there. That seems easier than trying to bring sex into the non-sexual or sexually averse areas of life – like work and family. That is the essence of Rex Harley.

How can I encourage a more mature understanding of sex in the broader society? It's time for society to grow up. How do you know when it's the right time to guide a child to his first ejaculation? When he begins trying to understand. If you make it safe to ask about sex, he will ask you when the time is right.

It's not possible to teach sexual responsibility when parents are determined to allow sexual ignorance, so we have more and more unwanted pregnancies. It has to become acceptable for children to ask sexual questions and to be able to give age appropriate answers.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I am a child at play


This is from a journal entry on Saturday 11/5/2011

I'm masturbating as I write this. My cock is hard. I masturbated during my Orgasmic Yoga practice this morning. Now I'm exploring ideas while feeling erotic pleasure.

I think what I teach is sexual innocence. I'm a grown man with a hairy sexy body, but I am still naïve. I am a child at play. My dick feels good as I stroke it. The pleasure rolls across my body. I could cum, but I don't.

How do I teach others the value of play? We take things so seriously. What is the first lesson I will teach?

Maybe I teach like this – touching myself. I feel my heart beat faster. I am excited at the thought. I think people seeing me masturbate might give them permission to join me.

Maybe I should host a masturbate-a-thon, see how long people can last.

I feel my pleasure. There is sensation in the head of my dick. I can feel pressure in my heart. I like to see my thighs and the pubes above my dick. I feel my balls between my legs. I feel heat in my belly. I like the way the pleasure makes my toes curl.

I feel the muscle I use for kegels. It makes me feel like I want to pee. That's part of my pleasure.

I really want to shoot some porn. California. Can that fund my work?

I'm still masturbating 35 minutes after beginning this journal entry. I am motivated to keep working on my Yoga of Sex class – covering masturbation coaching right now. I am really enjoying my dick. My dick.

My dick is a part of me. It usually feels separate, but the pleasure rises to my heart. My dick is an extension of my heart.

I love everybody because everybody is me.

I love being a sexual plaything.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What I Saw


During a recent retreat, we had an assignment to go about the world consciously and make note of the first twelve things we encounter. I posted this to the adult blog because of item eleven. :)

First I saw grass with the seed pod on top - a little brush. Touching it, I caught a web connecting two stalks of grass.

Second, I saw a purple flower - very small - on a bush or tree. Touching it, an ant crawled onto me. I almost blew it off until I chose to let it climb back onto a flower.

Third, I saw a half decayed apple - it smelled sweet and rotting.

Fourth, I noticed the soft dust under the gravel of the drive. It felt wonderful as I dug my toes in.

Fifth, I saw a dragon fly land in the drive. It didn't leave, so I did.

Sixth, I heard the flies in the shade - going who knows where continuously.

Seventh, I heard a rustle overhead and looked up to see a squirrel leaping from branch to branch.

Eighth, I saw three birds glide overhead from one tree to the other. I recognized myself in them.

Then, in a clearing on the drive in the sun overlooking the valley, I pissed down the already golden hillside.

Ninth, I finally took note of the giant redwoods - focusing on one on the way to Julie Andrews Point. I was dwarfed.

Tenth, I saw one of the men’s horses in the pasture. He had been looking for them earlier, but hadn't seen them. Then I saw him watching his horses.

Then I climbed the big tree naked and rested comfortably against the roughness. I massaged the tree with my feet, feeling the soft lichens on the bark, and I smiled. I spit in my hand and gave myself pleasure. The flies came to land on my leg as I worked quietly. I heard the man's horse whinny and the birds in the trees and the bugs and the wind.

Then I saw another who was me. I saw him stroke himself and I felt the pleasure as I mirrored the stroke. I loved seeing him/me pleasuring his/myself. I saw myself in him. I loved the sweetness of his touch on his cock. He deserves the pleasure and it pleases me to see him surrender to it. He's the eleventh self I've seen.

Twelfth, I hear gunshots in the distance and I remember I am a hunter. How can I capture my quarry? But then the hunter captures us and the moment is over. My prey is spooked and has escaped, but I remain - ready to hunt again.