Sourthern Carribean Cruise 2011

I forgot to post these pictures earlier. Enjoy!

 

Notice the exposed PA

 

 Nice!

 

This is sheer. You can see through if you look closely.

 

 Mostly naked in the main atrium!

 

 

 Smile for the camera!

 

This wouldn't be possible during a mainstream cruise

My Story: Part 2

My Story: Part 1

I was not an exhibitionist growing up - maybe I was before I turned three or four. At some point, I learned to feel shame when I was naked and avoided it like the plague. At some point, I found an adult theater in Washington DC that had a back area with some platforms. I was a horn dog at that time. I ended up sitting on a man's cock one night and it turned into a doggy style fuck on a darkly lit platform above an impromptu audience. I loved it and found that I really liked the other men watching me get fucked. I felt celebrated for doing what I loved to do.

Over the years, I've had sex with many many men and enjoyed almost all of them. I learned so many ways to have sex. Everyone is different, but I tended to follow the lead of the man I was with. I tend to get off on whatever gets my partner off. It's only recently that I've seen that as part of my Sacred Intimate identity. It feels like a gift.

I had toyed with the idea of prostitution when I was in college. I didn't need the money, but thought it would be fun to get paid for something that I enjoyed. I didn't do it. Sometime in the last ten years, I found the term Sacred Intimate. Other terms that mean the same thing are temple whore or temple prostitute. Apparently in some Eastern religions, sex is seen as an avenue to enlightenment. I wonder what my life would be like if I had been able to follow that path.

I started asking how I could become a Sacred Intimate and someone at Body Electric gave me the names of some intensives I could take - Dear Love of Comrades, Healing the Wounded Healer, and Creating Sacred Intimacy. I've found it very healing and someone at my first intensive saw me as a healer. I'm convinced much of the misery in the modern world comes from sexual ignorance and repression. I began a journey to try to join the sexual and the spiritual.

I had a Christian background growing up that spanned from Presbyterian to Baptist. I learned fear there, but I never got how sex was inherently sinful. Sure, I could see bad things like rape the dishonesty of adultery, but sex itself didn't seem bad to me. It felt too good to be bad and I saw that Creator God must have made us able to experience pleasure or we wouldn't.

My spiritual foundation was the twelve step programs of NA and AA where you could have an understanding of God that worked for you. From there I got to Unity which teaches that there is only one presence and power in the universe which is God who is good. God could also be called Higher Power or Divine Consciousness - not a personality but maybe life or love itself. My spirituality is very important to me. Since I am inherently sexual, I needed to find a way to include it in my spirituality.

I think most people don't like the idea of God being present when they have sex. I come from the perspective that God is present everywhere all the time - including in me when I'm taking a fist in the ass. I believe that God experiences his world through me - so if I feel pleasure, so does God. I don't feel I have an existence apart from God. I don't necessarily want to convince other people of my beliefs, but I do want them to find out how to experience pleasure without guilt or shame. I don't think guilt and shame are necessary. Seeing sex as sacred deepens it to unbelievable depths - much more than just getting off.

Two Hours of Orgasmic Pleasure

I woke up early this morning and did my orgasmic yoga practice. I was mostly sitting down and lying back. I didn't really include lots of movement. I let my body guide me in offering it pleasure, beginning with my inner thighs. I was continuously stimulating my penis for nearly two hours. I could have gone longer. I'm getting better at finding deep levels of pleasure without the risks of edging.

At one point, I oiled up my feet. I enjoy the primal feeling I get from my feet, but I'm still uptight sharing that pleasure with others. I'm thinking about making feet a more central aspect of my practice – maybe incorporating them in my logo. My toes remind me of my ape ancestry. Sometimes I get in touch with that as they curl when I'm feeling erotic pleasure. I consider feet to be sacred. After oiling them up and rubbing them for a while, I licked the oil off the bottom of my right foot – leaving me with lubed lips.

I also explored the scent and taste of my armpits. I showered last night, so it was subtle which was ideal. I can't deal with overpowering pits, but I don't like them smelling soapy or perfumed, either.

I've also been trying to explore the feeling of wanting to cry that comes up sometimes when I'm masturbating. It doesn't feel like tears of joy, but I can't surrender enough to the feeling to actually tear up or name it. I try different thoughts to see what resonates, but nothing matches yet. Now, I really want to cry while I'm masturbating. Whatever it is, it must be very repressed.

It's a beautiful, rainy morning. I'm going to the gym to run soon.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Pre-Orgasm Orgasmic Yoga

This is my journal entry about my orgasmic yoga experience on Wednesday 2/15/12.

I had the most amazing orgasmic yoga session this morning. My intention was to pay attention to my feelings – not the physical sensations, but the emotions. Most of the time, I wasn't really noticing my emotions, but I affirmed that I was having feelings even if I couldn't identify them.

I don't know if that's what caused my experience or not, but I had read somewhere that orgasms had more of an emotional component than ejaculation. Anyway, I was able to take myself to the place of my face taking on the orgasmic flush feeling. I really was having deeper emotions tied to it. The keys I think involved not going down the ejaculation train and staying on the pleasure train.

During my typical masturbation patterns, I reach a point when I stop focusing on pleasure and begin focusing on release – even if I have no intention of ejaculating. It has more to do with muscular contractions on the prostate, although I feel the pre-ejaculatory tingling in my penis that feels so good.

This time I had inserted a finger into my anus and was paying attention to the contraction of my sphincter. I mindfully relaxed my anus as I stroked. I began focusing more on gentle pleasurable touches on my erect cock. I felt more and more pleasure, but stayed off the ejaculation track of pumping and prostate contractions. When I wasn't touching my cock, I was massaging my belly up to my heart. I was feeling more pleasure in my anus . It was the tingling in my anus that was very similar to the feeling in my cock before ejaculating, that I followed and lead me to the pre-orgasmic flush. I emotionally felt pleasure and joy and began to sense that I was either feeling a non-ejaculatory orgasm or was very close to having one. I was moaning and groaning in ecstasy.

I love the flush that I feel as it makes me feel so open to the flow of pleasure in my body. It takes work to get there, but it is freaking amazing. I feel beautiful and amazing. I can finally see how I am hot. I love that.

Find other Orgasmic Yoga sessions here.

Fisting Part 6: Resources

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.


Books:

The definitive guide to fisting is Trust: The Hand Book

The Divine Androgyne: According to Purusha

List Site:

Handball List Site

Groups:

M.A.F.I.A.

FFA in DC

If you can recommend any other quality resources, please comment or contact me.

Part 1: Lubrication

Part 2: Hygiene

Part 3: Supplies

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep 

Part 6: Resources <-- You are here

Fisting Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

You could spend years experiencing and giving exquisite pleasure just by playing with the anus, prostate and rectum. That may be perfect and it can be an end in itself. But some of us have hungry holes that want to experience the “impossible.” Do not be alarmed at seeing small amounts of blood. There are capillaries that are very close to the surface of the rectal lining. you could also see blood during your first fuck. If you encounter lots of blood, get medical attention immediately.

There are two areas of focus during handballing - width and depth. When you're first starting, the focus is on width. Over time, your anus is stretched wider and wider until eventually a hand can pass inside the body. At first, your hand is not in the shape of a fist. Instead, you collapse the width as much as possible by folding over your thumb toward your pinky with your fingers extended.

Breathe deeply to help encourage your body and anus to relax. The sensation is very intense the first time a hand goes inside you. It feels impossible as that last millimeter passes the knuckles and the hand slips in. You immediately have an instinctive urge to expel it. You've traded the sensation of stretching sphincters for an overwhelming fulness. Your rectum reflexively spasms trying to expel the intruder. Instead, breathe. Breathe deeply and focus your will on relaxing your gut muscles. You keep breathing until you relax. The top shouldn't move until you have mastered this reflex and are able to relax. In the end, you may need to expel the hand, but you'll probably want to try again.

Once inside, every movement is intensely sensational. The top can rock his hand forward and back within the rectum. He can twist his hand slowly. He can curl his hand into a fist and rock back and forth again. You can spread your fingers, curl them. You can pull your hand out and go back in again. Over time, you can actually push in while making a fist.

Going for width means you want larger and larger hands, two hands, and toys to play with, but there is an alternative - going for depth. You can actually find the sphincter leading to the colon from the rectum. Pay close attention here and be very carefully. Usually there is enough sensation that you won't be able to exert enough pressure to do damage without first causing pain, but the bottom still needs to pay close attention to his experience for safety. Drugs are dangerous because they can make you want more than your body can take. Play safe. It takes regular play to widen the opening to the colon and to stretch the colon wide enough to take a hand. I've seen experienced players swallow a forearm, but it takes time and regular play.

Between playing with width and depth, there are endless pleasurable experiences to be had. For some, this is a spiritual experience. You are deeply and intensely connected. You can feel your partner's heartbeat as his ass squeezes your hand tightly. This is not a violent act. It is intensely loving. It takes deep trust. It requires overcoming physical limitations and challenges and it is deeply relaxing. After taking a hand, you will be extremely relaxed even as your ass is tender with the memory of its experience, and you will be high on endorphins.

Part 1: Lubrication

Part 2: Hygiene

Part 3: Supplies

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep <-- You are here

Part 6: Resources

Fisting Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

Now that you've done all this preparation - spending hours douching in the bathroom, mixing up the JLube, getting the underpads, setting up the space - anticipation has built up. You want to finally slam that fist up that butt, but that won't be very effective.

You've reached the point of playing with your butt. No matter what you've seen in the movies, this calls for patience. If you're never had a hand in your butt,you may not make it this time, either. There are some non-material things that have to be mastered.

First, you need to trust the person you're playing with. The one being fisted is 100% in charge. Stop means stop. Both need to agree the receiver calls all the shots. The giver is there only to serve, to pay close attention to what gives pleasure and avoiding causing any harm.

Second, you need to completely and utterly relax. You've cleaned yourself out, so now you can completely relax your anus, bear down, or whatever you feel guided to do in complete confidence.

I suggest that the top begin by massaging the bottom to get those endorphins flowing. The bottom's mind may be willing while his body resists. You must earn the body's trust and beginning with a relaxing massage is a great way to start. Include the butt in your massage. Work the cheek muscles. Run your hand down the crack. Maybe massage for ten or fifteen minutes or more.

Then move on to the asshole. Get the bottom in position on his back, on his knees, in the sling... Move into position and savor the sight of that beautiful pucker that you want to explore. Begin with light touch. Playfully explore. Don't penetrate right away. Diddle with that pucker. Tickle it. Take your time and make your bottom groan with anticipation. Find out what gives pleasure.

Then begin with penetration. One finger. Rotate it. Gently probe. Use plenty of lube. If you're playing with a man, find his prostate. Use only light touch on the prostate. A little goes a long way. After some time, try two fingers. Try one finger on each h and. Gently stretch the hole open with those two fingers. Playfully explore.

Use as many fingers as the bottom wants. Explore his butt. Reach into his rectum with your fingers. Watch his eyes as you do something new. Recognize pleasure or discomfort and adjust accordingly.

This is probably most important. Watch his eyes. Absorb the expression on his face. This is an extremely intimate act. Connect with him completely. Feel what he feels. Let your heart soften as you recognize the precious gift he is offering by allowing you to enter him so completely.

Part 1: Lubrication

Part 2: Hygiene

Part 3: Supplies

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play <-- You are here

Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep

Part 6: Resources

Fisting Part 3: Supplies

WARNING: Fisting is an advanced sexual act. Do NOT attempt this until someone more experienced has shown you how to do this safely. This is not for novices.

Once you've figured out what lube you want to use and cleaned yourself out, you're still not ready to begin playing. You need some more supplies.

What kind of surface are you going to use when fisting? You can do it on the floor or on the bed. You can put up a sling - even a portable one.

Make sure to have paper towels and a trash can available. This will let you wipe the lube off your hands and butt. Try to find a way so that you can pull off some sheets while leaving the roll in place. If your in a sling, you can run a chain horizontally through the roll of towels so you can grab some with one hand. Flatten the tube so that it doesn't freely unroll once you have the towels you need.

Buy some changing underpads. These are padded waterproof sheets used for diaper changing. Put the absorbent side up beneath the butt being fisted to catch lube and fluids. This will keep your floor/bed/sling clean.

You'll want your fingernails short and smooth so that you don't damage the tissues of the bottom. You should avoid fisting if you have any open wounds that could become infected. You can use gloves, but that's a personal choice. You can go with latex or nitrile gloves. Some people are allergic to latex.

Once you've got your surfaces, paper towels, underpads, gloves and lube, you're ready to start playing. More on that next time.

Part 1: Lubrication

Part 2: Hygiene

Part 3: Supplies <-- You are here

Part 4: Beginning Anal Play

Part 5: Opening Up and Going Deep

Part 6: Resources