This is a journal entry from Saturday 4/27/13
I'm at camp DC. I see people playing at two campsites. The compound is deserted. I'm writing this at the compound. I'm wearing a cock ring and ball stretcher, a yellow jock strap, my chain harness and of course my boots and socks.
I'm trying to open myself to whatever happens today even if nothing happens. The bath tub has tree leaves and needles in it, so it may not be high on the list for people to use for piss play. I'm going to quiet my mind and see what I can see.
This is a journal entry from Sunday 4/28/13
The weekend went pretty well from a passive point of view. I saw a wonderful healing flogging that was a pleasure to watch. I didn't get tied up or beat on, though. I was still very quiet and constrained. I don't feel established in this community yet.
I tried to make myself available, but I didn't ask anyone to do anything in particular. I wanted to be pissed on yesterday, but I didn't ask anyone and I wasn't aggressive in getting in front of anyone. I'm not sure what else I wanted.
When I used to go to the baths, I was good at knowing when the energy was high. I was good at being the spark that set everything going. These days, the energy level never rises – or at least I don't sense it anymore.