Thursday, March 1, 2018

I Am Loved


I sit in front of this Giant Cock, unashamed of my own touch. My touch draws my life to the surface.
My feet, not supporting me in this instant, are free to relax and receive pleasure.
There is an alter before the cock, my cock. I have offered a daisy, reflecting my own innocent beauty. My heart and cock connected, reach out to the Giant Cock, blessing it, being blessed by it.
This poem, like my heart: Raw, Naked and Sexual.
My cock drips. I am ecstatic.
This is who I am, but I am more. I am more than can be expressed. I am strong. I am weak. I am hard. I am gentle.
I feel the power/pleasure in my cock.
I am not broken. The part that I was told was broken is the most whole part of me.
I am loved. I am hated. I am everything in between.
My hardness has subsided, but it is close at hand. I have consummated my love for myself and given birth to this poem.



Saturday, October 29, 2016

(NSFW) Oral Ecstasy - Fiction

I imagine a hard cock in my mouth. The skin is soft as silk, but it wraps an iron core. My lips on the head of the shaft, sliding down over the head, down the slick shaft until the head touches the back of my throat. He groans in pleasure as I pull my mouth back up so the lips are again resting on the head.


As my mouth again starts back down the shaft of his cock, I wrap my tongue around it, sliding the rough texture of my tongue along his shaft. It doesn't take long before I feel his hips start to sway front-to-back in a slow thrusting motion. I match his frequency. He speeds up a little bit and I keep pace. He never really goes very fast. It doesn't matter. With each thrust of his cock head to the back of my throat, the muscles around his prostate tense and release. This is my objective for getting him to shoot his salty sperm filled semen down my throat. His groans become more rhythmic, his ass contracts, my mouth slides down the shaft and we repeat. I am ecstatic at the pleasure he experiences with me. My cock is throbbing, too.

He keeps pushing in and out of my mouth as I suck in sync with his thrust. His whole body is involved in this rhythm now. It is his frequency. This is the key to pushing him over the edge. With each stroke, his cock goes a little further down my throat. I know he is getting close. I breath deeply between his strokes as I prepare myself for the final thrust. He gets louder and louder before shouting in ecstasy as he grabs my head and shoves his cock deep down my throat until my nose is on his belly. I feel his cock throb as he pours his cum, is sperm, his jizz down my throat and into my belly. His strokes are shorter now as he stays buried deep and feels my throat swallow the last drips of his essence.


My sense of fulfillment goes deep. He pulls out of my throat and mouth, this orifice of ecstatic pleasure. My breath comes forcefully as I quickly return to my normal breathing pattern, his cum an offering to my stomach. I haven't cum yet, but the head of my cock lays in a puddle of my own seminal fluid, my own pre-cum.

He  gets on his knees to join me and hugs me deeply, kissing me, thrusting his tongue in my mouth as he tastes his own nut juices on my tongue. I begin to have an orgasm at the thought. My body shivers, my body tenses. I still don't ejaculate, but the orgasm is deeply fulfilling and powerful. Tomorrow we will reverse the ritual as he tickles the cum out of my prostate.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Community

So, I'll go back to my passion of living in community with other sacred sex workers, other free men and women. The templates I have are monastery, Easton Mountain, and maybe the Phoenix Temple. I'd like a space to stimulate residents creativity to build community and help heal the world.

The underlying idea is not to withdraw from the world, but to being a source of healing. So here are some ideas:
  • Build a ritual space/temple
  • Build small studios for sessions offered by residents who are Sacred Intimates, massage therapists, and sex workers.
  • Build "tiny houses" with a kitchenette, bathroom, bedroom, and living space for residents.
  • Build a shared kitchen/dining area for residents to share meals
  • Build gang showers, bath facilities
  • Space for farming/gardening.
  • Build a space we can rent to groups like Body Electric, or that we can use to host healing events and gatherings: Cooking, dining, rooms, gathering places...

Everyone joining us needs to pull their weight – cooking meals, cleaning, maintaining the grounds... Everyone serves. Allow for volunteers.

I'm not sure how a community ritual space/dining facility will overlap when outside groups host events. Participants need their own containers. Residents need full access.

I'd like to find a place in central Texas (or some other temperate region with water). It should be near an urban area so that our SI workers can work. It should be close to an urban area that out-of-town visitors can experience the city. It would ideally be convenient to the airport so that out-of-town visitors have easy access.

I don't know if a group buys land first and builds, or if an existing space exists that can be converted.

If you have any ideas, leave a message below or on FaceBook:  Rex Harley on FaceBook

Older posts on Community:


Saturday, January 30, 2016

Bottoms are selfish

I caught myself saying that "bottoms are selfish." I shouldn't generalize us. As a bottom, I am selfish. I'm focused on my delight at being used as a sexual object. Seeing my top turned on turns me on, so it's a selfishness that serves him well.



I love being told what to do in bed. I love my top being in charge. I'll tell you if I don't want to do something or if it hurts. And I delight when my top cares enough about me to find out my kink and encourage me to explore it with him. That's one reason I would be a good sex worker. Tell me what you want. Let me satisfy your desire. I can bottom deeply enough to be a top for a bottom. Accepting money would give my John permission to ask for what he wants, which would turn me on, which would turn him on and give him permission to surrender more to his desire.

Sacred Intimacy takes more effort because I need to look for the desire behind the desire. What desire is my client trying to satiate that he's afraid to ask for directly? That he's afraid to know he wants? For me to truly help a client, he needs to be able to be vulnerable with me. It may (probably does) take multiple visits to gain my clients trust enough to be vulnerable. 1) Will I keep his secret? 2) Can I take the force of his secret without being hurt? 3) Can I avoid being swallowed up by something that feels like a deep pit in my client? All I can say is that my sessions are confidential. I will not share what I hear as long as he is not a threat to himself or others. I cannot help someone who is suicidal by myself. But I am not afraid of strong emotions. I will not collapse under their weight. You are safe to let me see you cry. I will not tell you what to do or how to fix it, but I will stand with you as you face your demon. I've got your back and I will not break. I know how to be soft.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Courage

I want to write an algorithm to draw money to myself so that I can use that money to benefit others, to fulfill my mission of freeing people from shame of their animals, to become stewards of each other and of life on Earth.

That's the key. People in charge do not seem invested in the common good. Not all people are selfish, but there are people who act selfishly. There are people who will not be free out of fear. I want to the courage to live free.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Attitude

I must care for my attitude. I can reiterate my beliefs. I can focus on Truth:
  • I am right where I'm supposed to be, where I need to be.
  • I don't have to wrestle with life, but I can let it flow.
  • Everything is perfect just the way it is, despite appearances.
  • I allow myself to live in a state of grace, aware of my blessings.

What does my life look like in the best possible light:
  • I am loved.
  • My level of income lets me live in a style that I like.
  • All my desires are fulfilled.
  • I am very competent and highly skilled
  • I pursue solutions until I find them
  • There is nothing beyond my reach


Monday, December 29, 2014

Your Life's Calling: What I've learned so far

The format of this blog is changing. In the recent past, I have been posting journal entries directly to the blog. I have been told that others might get something out of seeing my process. I use my journal to explore my thoughts and feelings. I look at where I am blocked or unhappy. I ask questions that arise and try to answer them. I've decided to move forward from that and begin posting more coherent entries.

This post explores the simple idea of your life's calling. This seems like a good topic as we approach the new year, although I don't like setting this time apart as if it was literally an ending and beginning. That, to me, feels like such an artificial construct. In fact, this topic has weighed on me for the  past five years, if not much longer.

When I first explored this idea in my senior year of high school, it was manifesting as how I would earn money. I had grown up with the archetype of the Star Trek universe. I saw myself as an analytical support for an emotionally intuitive hero: Spock for Kirk. Looking back, part of the allure was being in control of my emotions which were so chaotic during my childhood. Today, I understand that my attraction to that archetype as important. It may yet hold the key to my life's mission.

There were some problems in searching for my life's purpose. First is that I was confusing it with a career. How do I make money from my purpose? I took that question and added my love for Spock and ended up with a push into physics. A funny thing happened on the way and I delved into consciousness expanding drugs. I don't know if I ever had a chance at a physics degree, but I had trouble with the math. I could never find a vision of a physics degree that filled me with passion. Nothing took me in the direction of being Spock.

The foray did teach me how to think critically, and I picked up software programming relatively easily. I still feel I have a decent understanding of how the physical universe works. And it provided an income that allows me to pay off the debts of my earlier years.

My understanding of my mission has changed. I recognized how much I enjoyed sex and how shamelessly I experienced it as a gay man. It took me some time to share my sexual orientation with my family. I still have shame to overcome in the broader culture, but I feel further ahead than so many people I've encountered. I toyed with the idea of doing porn and being a sex worker. My sense of freedom to pursue that has only come to fulfillment after I passed midlife. I am now 49 and feel I have more to offer. Without cultural support, I could not have been prepared any earlier. Even if I had, I would not have the financial stability that gives me that freedom today. That would be a worthy goal of support in itself – giving young adults who share this calling to serve as sex workers safely while furthering their education and long term prosperity.

My new sense of purpose and mission is far beyond the idea of career. Now it's focused on sacrificing everything to fulfill my mission. It's not how I can make money from it, but how can I most effectively spend money and energy on it. That is a new concept and hard to anchor in western culture. My mission statement has been getting more clear since I started trying to phrase it. I'm looking for a form that is stable and unchanging, although the way it manifests may change. My mission is to contribute to the survival of life on Earth by giving people permission, understanding, and serving.

From my perspective, the key to getting at your purpose is to spend time thinking about it regularly. When you're ready, write it down. If it doesn't feel right later, revise it. Look for the version that is unchanging. There are plenty of books about finding your life's purpose. Consider working with a life coach or a therapist. Don't consider money. What you've done for a living is a clue, but also what feeds your passion. What fills you with passion? Keep looking for that. It's important.